Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Making Decisions Together

“The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice” Proverbs 12:15

I read this story and thought, they are talking about me:

When John Benson decided to make some financial investments in a new business venture, he was very excited about the possibilities for a handsome financial return. His business and financial background had served him well. John felt strongly that his wife Jenny would not understand the complexity of his investment, so he casually mentioned it to her. When she asked a few simple questions, John became defensive and justified his plans for investing in the venture.

A year later, after investing a large sum of money, John received a phone call from the investment company. All the investors who had put money in the company were going to lose their investment with no ability to recoup it.

This story could be retold repeatedly across the world. God’s principles for making decisions require input from both spouses, regardless of their level of expertise. If you are not married, make sure you seek wisdom from a few close associates you know and trust.

As many of you know, when Hubby and I got married a little over 4 years ago that independent, make my own decisions girl came along too.  Hubby knew what he was getting into, he loved my independence BUT his vision of marriage was that we were a team in ALL decisions.  I mean, God calls married couples to be one, right?  I may have said the words but my actions didn’t show it.  Don’t we always tell our kids “actions speak louder than words”?

I was okay with being “one” on to some decisions; BUT when it came to my business I made decisions independently.  Why?  Because I had pre-judged his response.  I didn’t want to defend my decisions.  I wasn’t confident in being able to make a solid case for the decision. Most of all I just didn’t want him to challenge me. Over the last week, God has been working on my heart.  The other day, Hubby’s said “sometimes I feel like I am not part of your life”.  SMACK!!! My prayers for God to change him should have been for me to change.

By making decisions independently, as a couple, we were only benefiting from 50% of God’s intended blessings for us.  As I look for an accountability partner, I had to admit that I had one.  Someone who supported me in all that I do.  Someone who lived by the numbers and the facts.  Someone who would challenge me to grow my business to the next level.  That person was hubby.  It wasn’t that he didn’t support my business or that he wasn’t interested.  The truth was, I wasn’t letting him in because I had already decided how he would respond.

My marriage is a stewardship of decisions that requires two people.  It was time that I looked at my business and how it affects my marriage.  When I make business decisions that have a ripple effect, it is important to talk to hubby.  For some, this may seem so easy.  For others, our pride and independence gets in the way.

So before I make a major business decision, I will get confirmation for that decision from him.  He wants to be part of the “pink bubble” in his own way.  He wants to help in making sensible decisions.  It is time to be a team in marriage and in business.

I would love to hear from YOU on your best suggestions for being a team in your business with your spouse/partner.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Quills of a Porcupine

“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15 (NIV)

Have you ever worried about fitting in somewhere?  Maybe it was a move to a new area?  Maybe it was going to a new church?  Maybe it was starting a new job?  Maybe it is a rough patch in your marriage?  We have all been there at some point in our life.

Maybe that worry lasted for only a moment.  Maybe it overtook your life and that was all you thought about.

Now picture yourself at the new school, the new church, the new job, or a new group.  Maybe they are looking for someone to organize something and guess what YOU have the skills.  You get all excited because you have found your sweet spot.  You know that this is right where you are meant to be – you are going to shine.

Everything is going great, and then someone does something to “help”.  You know they pitch in without being asked or they purchase an item needed and just bring it to you.  Do you appreciate the kind gesture or do you get defensive?

You guessed it….in reading this I saw myself.  My insecurities come to the surface when someone tries to help by doing something without being asked and I enter the world of Doubting Debbie.  I start trying to prove myself.  Instead of appreciating help, I feel like my abilities are being questioned.

Porcupine at water {Hystrix africaeaustralis} Damaraland, Namibia

Yup, that is me.   I become like a porcupine with their quills standing at attention.  My defenses come out and anyone standing near me feels those quills.  I have to admit, it is usually hubby that gets the blunt of the sticks lately.

I never thought about it but when things like this happen, I feel like I am walking into a situation with humility when  I am actually walking in with pride. Rather than asking for advice and help, I try to prove something by doing it alone.  My approach usually hinders what my heart really wants to do.

God has worked on my heart to teach me an important lesson:

I need to walk into every new situation with something to learn, not something to prove.

A reminder that I need to trust God for he has new things for me to learn every day and He will use people to teach me.  Even when I’m in my sweet spot.  I need to approach every new situation with a heart that is open and gentle, ready to learn whatever new things God has for me that day.

Are you quills out today?

Have a Thirty One-derful day!