Unclutter Your Life

How Do You Stay Positive?

How do you feel when you hit a goal?  Maybe your goal weight?  Maybe you ran a marathon?  Maybe you hit your sales goals?  Whatever it was, do you remember how you felt?  The excitement of achieving something you have been working for – were you giddy with happiness, or are you like me and cry tears of joy?

Now, how did you feel working towards the goal?  Frustrated?  Overwhelmed?

May is full of celebrations – my birthday, my 10th wedding anniversary and God willing, my 3rd year in recovery.  May is the end of the ThirtyOne fiscal year and I have already hit my HIGHEST year in personal sales since I started with the company.  With all of these exciting things, you would think it would be easy for me to stay positive, right? The truth is I struggle with staying positive.

So many of us work hard in pursuit of big bold goals – because it feels so good when we make them happen, right?  The truth is BIG wins don’t happen every day.  Sometimes not even every month, quarter, or year. Sometimes big dreamy goals take time, patience, and a whole lot of devotion to make happen. And it’s okay, it’s how it’s supposed to be.

But are we supposed to defer our happiness, our joy, and our contentment until those BIG dreams happen?  How many of you actually celebrate or give yourself credit for the baby steps you made on the way to your BIG goal?

Most of us (me included) forget to feel proud of ourselves in the here and now – in the moment BEFORE we reach the big goal. It is important for us to allow ourselves to enjoy the moment. We can make ourselves crazy if we continue to defer our happiness until some day in the future when we make those big dreams happen.

So what if we started to obsess over our little wins instead of the big ones?  What if we reconnected with the things which truly matter most in my life – the present, the here and now.  When we show up each day for our work and our life while taking care of ourself, our family, and our business – these are the things which truly matter most. The big wins are then the icing on the cake.  The little wins are the ones which truly shape and define a well lived successful life.  One of my biggest struggles in recovery (combined with the MS) is living in the moment.

What do some of your little wins look like? Do any of these look like yours?

I paid my bills this month on time and am reducing my debt.  That’s awesome.

One of my favorite customer/hostess wants to host another party. That’s amazing.

I got 6 hours of sleep a few nights this week! Go me.

I gave myself time and space to read an incredible book this month.  Woo hoo!

I created and shared original posts on social media this month I’m proud of.  I sure did.

I embraced guilt-free rest this week whenever I needed it.  Yes!

              I didn’t beat myself up with I made a mistake. Yes!

             I rode my stationary bike 3 times this week. Yes!

Do any of these sound like baby steps you took?

Maybe you got up, showered & dressed at least twice this week?  Maybe you you reached out when you were struggling?

So, what happens when you think about the little steps you took this week?  Were you energized, excited, and aligned?

Believe it or not, when you are focused on the little wins, you are less attached to the outcome.  You can feel proud of the hard work and devotion it took to make the BIG dreams happen without diminishing what it took to make the little, everyday wins happen too.

I’m challenging you to obsess about your little wins instead of the big ones.

What are five things you’re really proud of this week?  No matter what they are, embrace the positive feelings about the little wins.  Enjoy the feelings as you celebrate showing up each day and giving your life everything you’ve got.  Because it’s what really matters in the end.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel, Recovery, Weigh to Goal

Jiggle Thighs and Acceptance

Once a month, I am doing a “me blog post”.  Basically, sharing my strength, hope and experience about something.  I looked back on past blog posts for inspiration when I stumbled on one I did in April 2013.

I am learning to accept me for me.  Not easy since I have had a negative self image for as long as I can remember.  Why is it the negative is easier to remember with my MS than the positive things?  A post for another time….

For as long as I can remember, I have had “bumps” on the top of my thighs and my thighs jiggled.  Yes, they got smaller with the loss of 105 pounds but they are still there!  There was even a time when I was working at WAWA where I think they were not as obvious – at least to me.  I mean standing on your feet and doing lots of walking (15,000 steps a day) had some benefits even though I usually felt like a MAC truck hit me.  As my MS reared its ugly head, I struggled with walking long distances.  I struggled with being on my feet a lot so of course working was no long an option. What is a girl to do?  I ride a stationary bike at least 3 times a week, I walk when I can but probably not nearly as much as I should. Opps, there is that word “should”.  I hate wearing my brace on walks because I am forced to accept my limitations due to my MS.

Since COVID and the move, I have been living in yoga/leggings.  I have maintained my BIG weight loss and am about 10 pounds from my original goal weight yet the “jiggle thighs” seem to still be there.  Of course, to me they are really obvious because my waist shrinks (the first place I lose weight) and nothing is in proportion.  So maybe this isn’t your problem area, maybe it is the “jiggle arms” or the muffin top or the roll our bra creates – no matter what we all seem to judge ourselves when we look in the mirror.

How about this thought….My jiggle thighs (or your problem area) are evidence of God’s goodness in my life! Sounds crazy, right? Mind you I never notice this or any other problem area on other people, just on myself.  Most people don’t mention it – okay maybe an occasional child who is curious but why wouldn’t they be – I’m curious as to know why God has blessed me with these wonderful thighs.  LOL.

 
I read something awhile ago by Jen Wilken who wrote The expectation of physical perfection hits modern females early and often”.  Expectations, OMG!  I have learned in my recovery journey, expectations are not good.   She goes on to say Increasingly, physical perfection is the legacy of womanhood in our culture, handed down with meticulous care from mother to daughter, with more faithful instruction in word and deed than we can trouble to devote to cultivating kindness, peacemaking, and acceptance that characterize unfading, inner beauty.”
 
I say all this to say – let’s not torture ourselves with lies about the need to have a perfect body or to be an ideal weight.  I am not saying – don’t be healthy, what I am saying is strive for a goal that is reachable for you.  I am learning to accept me for me – jiggle thighs and all – knowing I am beautifully made by God.  I am not less than because it has taken me a “LONG” time to reach my goal weight.  I am not less than because my body is not a perfect size 10.  There will be ups and downs in my weight loss journey just like there is in life.  Consider those “downs” as blessings where we learn more about ourselves and our relationship with our Higher Power. Learning to love myself is one of the hardest things I have ever done!  
 
Today, I am living in the hope, security and the arms of a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally.  Give yourself a break today and know as long as you are trying your best – that is all that God is asking of you.
 
For tips on healthy weight loss check out – Weight Watchers. This is the program I lost all of my weight on.  It took me longer than I expected. There are those “expectations” again.  I compared myself to others (guess that is a character defect I will need to deal with, LOL) and still do in many areas of my life.  Just for today, I looked in the mirror and actual like the person I am.  Give yourself a break.  If you can’t love yourself totally, find at least ONE area you can love (great smile, pretty eyes, great personality) and count your blessings.  Have patience, and think positive thoughts.
 
Have ThirtyOne-derful day.
Family

Where Does Your Strength Come From?

My strength comes from God but he gave me an amazing momma to help me along the way…..

Have you ever wondered where you get the strength to go on? Or how you can be strong when others would have thrown in the towel?

I never really thought of myself as being strong BUT I knew my momma was…….despite LOTS of struggles, she came through it.  She continues to shine even on her worst days.  She instilled a sense of faith in me very early.  I know it is her faith which kept her going on the worse days.  Despite my bad choices and in my darkest days, I knew no matter what God had his hand on me and would take care of me.  I am grateful for the lessons she taught me.

Today is momma’s birthday………..

I won’t disclose her age but she DEFINITELY doesn’t look it. The last year has been tough but she has continued to remain strong.  It is her inner strength which continues to guide her even on the hardest days.

Let me tell you a little about this AMAZING woman… I have to admit, I’m grateful for years of blogging since I struggle to remember….

Growing up, Mom was always there.  She made sure our home was always open to my friends – I mean we were the house to go to after a basketball game or when there was no place else to go.  I may not have been thrilled but I was grateful I could pick up the phone and say – I am on my way with 2, 10, 25 or more people.  The house was always stocked with snacks.  After my Junior Prom, my parents made breakfast for over 300 kids.  Yes, the parade of non-stop kids through the house was a little more than this teenager was ready for but mom stood strong.

Off to college I went and there were struggles.  Freshman year, my parents divorced and it wasn’t easy.  I was in Rhode Island while mom was home holding down the fort.  Scrimping pennies to make sure I had a home to come back to.  They were tough years but we had fun.  She often traveled to Rhode Island for a weekend where we toured the mansions of Newport, shopped in Fall River and she even camped out in my dorm room.  After college, I headed home to work locally, moving back in with mom.  We spent countless nights walking the boardwalk in Ocean Grove.  Fast forward to my move to Egg Harbor Township and more years of rough roads.  In my addiction, I admit I pulled away and mom practiced some tough love but our relationship survived the test.  Along came Belinda and in the beginning there were struggles but through it all – mom was there.  She helped emotionally, financially and physically.  Despite some differences and hiccups in the road – she was there.

When Belinda left for college and I moved to Brick, it was a rough time for both of us.  Lives changed – I had a new hubby and the one hour drive to visit in Mays Landing felt like an eternity.  Then came my relapse and again mom was there.  She was there to help me through those early rough days.  Day trips to Mays Landing were done about once a month and there never seemed to be enough time.  Juggling travel up and down the parkway, MS issues, medical appointments, and life always seemed to throw us a curve ball.

Fast forward to 2020, when after a quick unexpected sale of the condo in Brick, hubby and I moved to Mays Landing.  Finally just 20 minutes away. Grateful to spend the holidays together, cooking in our new home.  Now I can actually stop by whenever I want or help out when something is needed.

My memories may be gone but in my heart I know I learned A LOT from my mom. She taught me: how to be strong when life is rough, how to save and budget (okay, so this lesson took longer to learn),  the importance of family and about being a mom.  She reminds me to believe in myself (you would think I would know this by now).  I can honestly say my mom is one of my best friends.

When you think about your qualities – strength, perseverance, or faith – have you thought about where you got them from?  We usually think they are a result of the bumps in the road, and they do help build strong character traits. BUT our family – parents, siblings, extended family – help to shape us as well.  They are the ones who help to mold us into the person God would want us to be.  Remember to thank them.

Mom, thank you for all you have done, continue to do and or always being there.  I love you!  Hope you have a blessed birthday!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Hope Wissel

Consistency in 2021

is defined as “the fact of staying the same at different times”.  Does it mean things are ALWAYS perfect? NO! Does it mean there won’t be bumps in the road? NO!  It is the 80/20 rule which means if you do it at least 80% of the time you will see results.  

This is my word for 2021………..maybe a bit unconventional but given the times, I think it is something I need to practice on a regular basis.  Something to keep me grounded.

After settling into our new forever home, I needed a routine.  I needed a purpose. I found I was all over the place.  Hubby is now retired and home 24/7.  Cooking three meals a day – eating was all over the place.  My business was growing again but I was “reacting” instead of planning.  Not being able to focus on anything but focusing on everything.  Going to face-to-face meetings was getting tougher.  Driving at night on dark roads was difficult.  I would verbally beat myself up with the all or nothing perspective.  It is time for a change!

Consistency in my weight loss journey will be following the 80/20 rule.  Losing the initial 120 pounds was a journey.  I took it one day at a time.  After taking some MS meds, I gained back 20 and it has been a struggle ever sense.  The truth is, I used it as an excuse.  I wasn’t determined, I figured I was okay.  I’m not happy with me and how I look so it is time for a change.  My goal is to consistently track, to be accountable for my eating or over eating and to do some movement every day to increase my fit points.  I will be consistent so I will see the results. I’m not looking for perfection just to consistently lose so I can reach my goal weight again.

Consistency in my business is actually pretty exciting.  I actually have a plan for the new year.  I will be celebrating my 10th Anniversary with ThirtyOne for the entire year!  I have been planning it out for the last month or so.  I have decided to do things which I can do consistently.  I have selected tools to help me maintain my consistency.  My goal is to share the love of my “pink bubble” with everyone – so be prepared.  Several months ago I prayed asking God for direction.  I thought my time had come and I was okay with leaving ThirtyOne.  God had a different plan.  He increased my business and helped me to find the joy in my pink bubble again.  He has given me focus and a new perspective.

Consistency in my recovery is a little bit easier.  I currently do at least one meeting a week virtually and will continue to do at least that during the long cold winter.  Come spring when it stays lighter out longer, I will seek local face to face meetings.  I miss my home group.  I am grateful for texting because I can keep in touch with those who helped me through the early struggles.  I know, for me, meetings are a must for without them I get complacent and anything is possible.  Relapse was part of my story but will not be again.  The truth is with consistency in my recovery, I can be consistent is all other areas of my life.

So for this year, consistency will be the key.  It will be the thing which keeps me grounded.  I am even going to try and consistently write my blog again.  I miss writing so I will commit to once a week so I can be consistent.

What is your word for 2021?  Share it with us so we can celebrate, and encourage each other.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

Hope Inspires, Hope Wissel

One Word Not a Resolution

In looking back over the last year, I realized in all of the craziness I forgot about my “word”.  Honestly, I don’t even remember what it was for 2020.  Life got away from me – COVID, recovery, selling our condo, buying our new forever home, settling in and living life with hubby in retirement.  A whirlwind of a year which is coming to an end….So, I’m planning 2021.

It is just a few days before Christmas and already some are looking forward to the new year.  There are hopes of a better year, for some type of normal to return to our lives.  For some, this has brought up the idea of New Year’s Resolutions, right?  Most people usually pick a resolution by a problem which has plagued them (sometimes for years) and vow to change it.  Has it worked for you in the past?  I know it never did for me.  Here is usually how it goes:

January – motivated, committed and on track to keep resolution

February – some motivation, mostly on track

March – motivation gone and Resolution forgotten

Does this sound like you?  Well, in 2012 my Director with Thirty One asked us to pick a word for the upcoming year. It was the first year, I tried it and it worked!  My word was  FAITH:  Faith to believe when the way is rough and faith to hang on when the going is tough.  faith will never fail to pull us through and bring us strength and comfort too. Helen Steiner Rice. 

That one word got me through so much during the year….FAITH helped me when business was slow.  FAITH helped me to step outside my comfort zone to grow my business.  FAITH helped me to stay on track with Weight Watchers.  FAITH helped me to overcome doubt and when I took on a part-time job.  FAITH got me through as hubby suffered congestive heart failure.  FAITH got me through when fear gripped my heart at the thought I might lose him. FAITH gave me strength when Rob had oral surgery.  FAITH kept me calm as I overcame my fear of dentists.  My FAITH grew each day as I sought God’s guidance before I made major decisions in my personal and business life.  My FAITH has got me through.  Each year after, I selected a word. Some years I was more focused then others either way, I was blessed in so many ways.

This “One Word” experiment moved me from the long list of changes to ONE WORD.  It helped me to take all my big plans, narrow them down into a single focus and create a vision.   When things got tough, when Doubtful Debbie and Negative Nellie visited; I went back to my ONE WORD and gained focus.  It wasn’t always easy but it helped me focus on the goals I had for the year.  Notice I didn’t say resolutions, I said goals.  I am still praying on my word for 2021.  I know God will nudge me in the direction I need to go.  This ONE word will be my guide as I strive for the goals I have for 2021 in my personal, and business life.

What will your ONE WORD for 2021 be?  Or are you still in the “resolution list” mode?  Either way, share them with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!