Thankful Thursday: Acceptance

How well do you accept things – mainly change?  Do you adjust quickly or do you fight it all the way?   Do you embrace change or close your eyes ignoring it is happening?

Since my health issues started in 2012, it has been a roller coaster ride of acceptance.  When the diagnosis of MS  finally came in 2017 I realized it would be physically challenging, emotionally draining, and around-the-clock exhausting with some extremely lonely times. The truth is for those who don’t have it, you can’t understand the challenges or how it is different in each person.  On the surface, I accepted things.  Those closest to me saw the struggles but I was still living a kind of denial.

I had been having a run of good days – when there is no brain fog, moving okay just a little slow and making it through most of the day before I was totally drained.  Then there are the days which take an extraordinary amount of effort to complete even a simple task. Try going through a day not knowing if you will be able to manage another moment of fatigue, dizziness, muscle weakness, dropping anything you get your hands on, and feeling as if you don’t have the strength to hold it together for one more second.  I accepted these minor challenges too… or at least I thought I did.

When I started my journey again working through my addiction, I realized I have never really accepted my MS diagnosis.  Why was accepting I’m an addict so much easier than accepting I have MS.   On most days I admit to those around me the limitations I have especially with memory as a result of my MS. Acceptance, right?  Then,  I came across this definition of acceptance in an NA reading.  “Acceptance is an opening of your heart to the realities of life and to the ways in which you have been impacted by your life choices. It means you don’t fight against the realities of your life, but accept them for what they are and use them to grow as a person and move forward in life. Accepting life on life’s terms.  Accepting the things you can not change while you focus on the things you can“. The truth is, I have not truly accepted my MS diagnosis.

Last week, I was told by disability “you are not considered disabled”.  One of their reasons was “you can use your arms and hands so basically go to work” and instead of getting angry, I started to wonder if they were right.  Then I was told by the physical therapist, I had flunked the balance test!  She said “you are a fall risk and need to have a cane with you”.  SMACK!  She had me pegged though, she said “you still think of yourself as an independent woman who can take care of everyone else”.  It took both of these things to make be realize I was still fighting the realities of my life.  I continue to fight the things I can’t change instead of focusing on the things I can change.  I can’t change I’m a 62 year old woman who struggles most days with MS both physically and mentally.  What I can change is the way I decide to handle things………working on eating healthier, getting sleep, getting up and moving when I feel up to it instead of just sitting around then resting when my body says it is time.

Now, your struggle with acceptance could be much different.  The difficulties you face may be different from mine, but I am convinced there is someone, somewhere in the world who is going through the same overwhelming moments as you. Just because you don’t hear about them or know them personally doesn’t mean they don’t exist.  Believe me, I have been there.

Whatever your challenge, it’s okay to feel like you’re falling apart.  Eventually things will get better and you will find new ways of coping with all the changes happening in your life. I can guarantee it, but in the moment or in the heat of the battle it may not seem like it’s even possible.  I know, I am there fighting the battle of acceptance right now – with you.

It’s okay to ask for help.  I’m grateful for the rooms of NA where I can dump my stuff on the floor and walk away feeling a little less like a hot mess.  Find someone you can talk with about ways to help you manage your emotional chaos.  There is still hope for a better tomorrow whatever your challenge may be. I believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself.

When all else fails, repeat the Serenity Prayer and wait for an answer.  Of course waiting for an answer is not one of my strong points.  Answers will always come but they may not be in a way we expect them or it may not be the answer we want….. expectations is a whole other topic.  LOL.

So, just for today, focus on the things you can change.  Accept life on life’s terms and count your blessings.

Have a blessed day!

 

The Perfect Script

In direct sales, we are always looking for the “perfect” script for our parties.  The script that will get you sales, recruits AND bookings.  We want the magic want and we thing the perfect script is it, right?  So you memorize the script BUT it just falls flat.  You can’t figure out what you did wrong because it worked for Jane or Mary, right? So you look for another script.  The results seem to be the same – flat, not a lot of anything.

Now you are stumped, right?  Why didn’t it work?  I used the exact same words.  Do we every think that it could be us?   Maybe it is because you couldn’t get behind the words, they weren’t you.  No matter how much you practice, the words were uncomfortable.

So is the problem the script? Or is it that people aren’t buying YOUR essence?  Did you move your guests so that they wanted to buy?  Did they enjoy their experience?  Would YOU have sat through your party and bought anything?  YIKES!!

Genuine sales skills happen when you bring it to life or you reveal a deeper part of yourself through your work.  People buy from people they have a relationship with NOT because you have the best party script.

I will be honest here – for a LONG time, I tried to find the best script.  The one that brought the most sales, created interest in the products and where people had fun.  I am usually a little nervous getting up in front of people to talk even at a Thirty One party.  I know, go figure, right?  Then I realized that it wasn’t about the script – it was about me sharing my passion for the products.  Okay, I know that should have been a no-brainer after 4 years but I am always willing to try something else.  What worked for others just did not fit me and I had a hard time getting behind the words or the games.  My last party was an AHA moment in this area.

My script was one sheet that would be easy for anyone to follow.  Isn’t that the key to recruiting new team members?  The basic outline made sure that I stayed on track and hit all of the key points.  The real me shined through – the person they saw in front of them during the presentation was the same person that they chatted with during checkout.  They saw my love for the product.  They got to know me.  Bookings, sales and a recruit.

Being the genuine YOU moves people; they are influenced by you. They want to be in your presence because YOUR presence is contagious. And they want to do business with you.  You then become a great sales person because you are genuine.

The three skills to help you to reach that presence:

Silence – You need to cultivate the ability to quiet your mind. You may think yours is too noisy to quiet, but rest assured, there are techniques for doing exactly that.

Appreciation – The world is filled with wonder, and as a rule, you miss it when you live inside your own head. Start noticing the beauty around you and you’ll quickly become more present.

Self-awareness – We’ve been trained to avoid discomfort, so the minute we feel it we go unconscious and begin operating on automatic. Learn to feel what’s going on inside and to embrace it. This is a great aid for things like sales anxiety.

So, it isn’t about the perfect script.  Try these three tools daily and you’ll find yourself becoming more present, more magnetic, more influential, and ultimately, more capable of manifesting the sales results you desire.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!