Relax, Reflect, Recharge

That Little Sneaky Path to a Bad Place

Thank you Sharon Jaynes for today’s message…

One Sunday my pastor had to do some housekeepin’ fussin’ at our congregation before he started his sermon. It was a “visitors, close your ears” moment as Jimmy interrupted the service for an important message from our neighbors.

See, right beside our church property is a city park. On Sundays, when our parking lot is full, we tend to use the city park lot for our overflow parking. The only problem is that the folks going to the city park don’t like the fact that those daggum CHURCH people are taking their parking spaces.

It is not nice of us. Really. I’m sorry. I’ve done it, too.

And while our sweet pastor calmly asked the congregation, once again, to STOP PARKING IN THE CITY PARK PARKING LOT (he didn’t yell, but I bet he wanted to) folks still do it. As soon as Jimmy finished his announcement and began his sermon, God had a sermon just for me. He wasn’t finished with me and the forbidden parking lot issue. That’s what happens when you make a path or keep a path open, He seemed to say, “You’re going to walk down it eventually.”

See, while we have been warned, scolded, and pleaded with not to park next door, there is this nice little path through the bushes from the city park’s parking lot to our church’s parking lot. The bushes are trimmed on both sides, cobblestones are succinctly placed, and a nice little bit of concrete forms a gently curving sidewalk. Someone keeps the bushes clipped and the grass maintained. The breezeway almost beckons us (me) to break the rules.

Now let’s go down a different path. Let’s call the path sin. Let’s say that you have decided that once and for all you are not going to park yourself in the parking lot of a particular sin.

  • You’re not going to stop by Dunkin’ Donuts and eat a dozen chocolate-covereds in one sitting. You’re not even driving by.
  • You are not going to sleep with that boyfriend…ever again!
  • You’re not going to date that guy you know is bad for you…ever again.
  • You’re not going to look at that particular website.
  • You’re not going to flirt with the married guy in the next cubicle.
  • You’re not going to gossip about other people.
  • You are not going to drink because you know you have an alcohol problem.
  • You are not going to indulge in online shopping because you’re in debt.
  • You’re not going to _______________.

There are hundreds of vices you could put in that sentence. But then there’s a nicely groomed little path that you’ve kept open…just in case. You wouldn’t call it “just in case.” You wouldn’t say it out loud.

  • The guy’s name is still in your contacts list on your smartphone.
  • You still think about what that guy in the next cubicle would like when you get dressed for work in the morning.
  • You still pull up that website when you think God isn’t looking.
  • You still pull up a chair when someone begins to gossip.
  • You still take the route home from work that goes right by the Dunkin Donut store.
  • You keep a bottle in the cabinet…just for company.

The paths beckon you. And as long as you keep the breezeways open, you’ll probably breeze right through them…eventually.

The answer? Remove the path. Put up a gateless fence.

  • Remove the contact.
  • Change your job.
  • Get rid of your computer.
  • Get an accountability partner.
  • Take a different route home from work.
  • Remove the bottle.
  • Unsubscribe.

Make the path impassable, implausible, and impossible to take, and put up a gateless fence instead.

Jesus said, “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out” (Matthew 5:29 NKJV). That is pretty dramatic. I’m not telling you to pluck out your eye, and I’m not sure that’s what Jesus was saying either. But He was telling us to remove the cause of the temptation.

Remove the path. Put up a fence.

So here’s my question: Do you need to put up a fence where you now have a path?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!


Hope Wissel

Shake It Up

It’s Monday morning and I want to SHAKE it UP a little….

Carli Davidson Pet Photography

 If you are like me, you have a list already of the things that you “should” do.  I should:

  • Make follow-up calls to customers
  • Call leads from vendor events
  • Step out and meet at least 5 new people to share my business
  • book at least 3 parties for the next 6 weeks
  • schedule working out at least 3 times this week
  • track my food daily

and the list goes on right with things that you really should get done this week.  Ask yourself, how much of this really will get done?  I know, you are optimistic and think that it all will.  I have been there.  Monday morning starts off on track and then by Tuesday morning, the “desire” wains and before long it is Friday and you are wondering what happened to the week.  You look back and realized that maybe 1 thing off your list is done.

Are the things on your list that you should do, the things you really want to do or are they the things that you are doing to please someone else or that someone told you would help grow your business?  Sounds weird, right? If they are on YOUR to do list, they should be the things that you want to get done.  Things that you excite or motivate you.  The truth is, when you say you should do something, more often than not, you’re doing it to please someone else or you really don’t want to do the “thing” you’re saying you should do. Your subconscious mind responds to this by keeping you stuck in procrastinating mode.  Does this should like you?

What if  you were to start the week off with a list of WANTS or any other word that excites and motivates you and urges you to go after the “thing” that you desire.  How about this:

  • I want to talk to at least 5 people per day about my business
  • I want to follow-up with at least 5 past hosts to work on filling my calendar
  • I want to refrain from putting anymore charges on my credit cards
  • I want to eat healthy this week.

Do you get the idea?  Over the next 7 days, see how many times you use that dreaded word “should” attached to an action.  Stop and think about it, is it really something you want to do.  If so, change the wording and see the profound change it will make in your life.  Simple things practiced until they become a habit will change your life.

I never thought about it but using the word SHOULD puts your desire on hold permanently. The world should doesn’t motivate, it discourages on a subconscious level.  Using the word WANT starts the journey for the how to achieve your desire. It motivates, inspires, and ignites your passion to take action for your desire.

So, I am going to change ONE WORD for one week and see how it works.  I am going to say “I should get some parties booked” to “I want to book parties for the next 6 weeks” and see what happens.  It seems so basic and so simple but what if it works.  Isn’t it worth the effort?

What is YOUR one “should” that you are going to change to a “want” this week?  Share it with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

#shoulds #wants #thirtyone #partywithHope #change

Business Tips and Tricks, Hope Wissel

Want Not Should


Happy Monday!  WOOHOO!  I know most people hate Mondays, right?  Back to work and counting the days till the next weekend, right?  So why do I like Mondays?  Today especially because it has been a crazy busy weekend filled with work and parties.  I have been partying Thirty One style for 3 nights in a row – I LOVE IT!  My calendar has been a little light lately so I was very excited about this weekend even though I knew that I would be exhausted by the time this morning hit.

So with so much happening this past weekend, what will be my motivation to keep going this week?  For many people, being on that “busy” high would be enough.  For me (and since hubby is off for two days), I just want to wind down and do nothing.  Instead of thinking of all of the things that I “should” do, I am going to shift my focus to the things that I WANT to do. This way I can shift my energy and hopefully see better results of my efforts…

Here is my list for the week, short but filled with lots of potential:

I want to book a fundraiser for November.

I want to book 2 parties for December.

I want to close out the month of October with $4000 in sales

I want to follow-up with all of my vendor event contacts from the last two weeks.

I want to block out quality time for hubby.

So, why did I change to the word WANT instead of SHOULD.  Using the word SHOULD puts your desire on hold permanently. The word should doesn’t motivate, it discourages on a subconscious level. Did you know that?

 Using the word WANT starts the journey for the how to achieve your desire. It motivates, inspires, and ignites your passion to take action for your desire.

If you live your life pleasing others (including family) you’ll create a lifestyle doing things you should do instead of doing things that you want to do. Be diligent! Watch your words! Practice saying I WANT (or some other word or phrase that inspires action) instead of saying I SHOULD.

I have tried this before but I usually fall back into the “I should” mode but with the help of my new counselor/life coach, this  new way of thinking WILL stick.  See how positive I am?

The truth is that a simple mindset change, will work like magic and it WILL change your life.  I know it sounds too basic but it is true… Try it for a week and see what happens.  Eliminate the word should from your vocabulary and see how freeing it is..

Let us know if this shift has any impact on your life. Remember that “if you keep doing the same thing, you will reap the same benefits”.  Just one small baby step may make all of the difference in the outcome of your week.

Nothing works for everyone, but if you want it to work for you it will.

Have  a ThirtyOne-derful day!