Dream Homes and Fixer Uppers

Thank you Arlene Pellicane for today’s message:

There we were – my realtor husband and I – standing in front of our new home grinning and holding a bright red SOLD sign for the picture.  The excitement of moving into a great house had temporarily eclipsed the stress of packing three weeks before Christmas.  I couldn’t see one thing wrong with my dream house.  And then we moved in.

The sink in the master bathroom started to leak.  The plumber was supposed to come in the afternoon but couldn’t come until after dinnertime.  While the plumber tooled around under the sink, James and I were standing on top of our bed trying to fix the ceiling fan and light.  My arms ached as I held up the light while James worked with the wiring.  Let’s just say it didn’t work the first time (or the second, or the third).  I had a choice.  Would I complain about my aching arms and quarrel with my husband in the heat of the moment?

Marriage is a lot like having a massive home improvement project for life.  There’s always something new to work on.  Now in the beginning, you marry Prince Charming and there’s not a blemish on him.  He looks perfect.  And there’s not a blemish on you either.  But as you begin to do life together day after day, you soon realize you need to put some elbow grease into the relationship to keep the magic alive.  Healthy relationships take work.

You don’t have to be married to mine the wisdom of today’s verse.  In Solomon’s day, roofs were flat and small rooms could be built there.  Today’s verse is repeated verbatim in Proverbs 25:24, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”  In other words, it’s better to live sparsely in peace than live in comfort with quarreling.  It would be better to live in a dusty, little room than in the prettiest most Pinterest perfect home if it meant a complaining, argumentative woman would be living there too.

Quarrelcan be defined as “an angry argument or disagreement, typically between people who are usually on good terms.”  Whether married or single, I don’t think any of us want to be known as a quarrelsome woman.

So the next time you feel like fighting with your spouse or someone else, extend grace.  Instead of being contentious and argumentative, be gracious. The more gracious you are to others; the more others will be attracted to you.  Your loved ones won’t try to escape to the roof.  They’ll be happy wherever you are.  That sounds a lot like a dream home to me.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

How To Practice Loving Your Hubby

Happy Friday!  Yes, it is a strange topic for a Friday but before the hectic fall season gets into full swing, I wanted us to take make sure we are honor our relationship with our spouse.

It is easy to love on your spouse when things are going well, right?  Snuggling on the coach, enjoying quiet moments, dinner together and lots of conversations.  But when the going gets tough, we need to learn to dig a little deeper in order to love more intentionally. I mean who has time to love on your spouse as you are playing mom taxi, cooking dinner, working, running errands, struggling with health issues and juggling a million balls in the air during the school year?  It is during these times that we need to dig deep to make sure that we love on them. Thank you Club31Women for these tips:

1. Be patient with him.
Okay, so this is not always easy for me but I am working on it.  No matter what drives you crazy about him, or what struggles he’s facing, be patient with him. Take a breath, and pray for patience. Love is patient and by showing patience, you are showing love.

2. Be kind to him.
Sometimes, we think we are being kind but our tone or that snarky look on our face says otherwise.  It is during these times, out kind gesture turns into unkindness. Kindness is a cornerstone of love. Being locked into a committed relationship does not give us license to be mean. When you’re having a tough day, dig deep and be kind anyway.

3. Be honest with him.
There’s a time to share honest communication and a time to wait.  In the heat of a moment may not be the best time to be honest.  When sharing concerns, be honest about them, but do it in a kind manner. Honest communication is crucial for a marriage to thrive and grow. Hiding things from your husband will only shake or break the trust in your marriage.

4. Protect him.
I am learning to do this – not physically but in my conversations.  Sometimes our off-handed remarks are mistaken by others leaving the door open to attack or speak down about our spouse.  Protect his character and integrity. Always speak well of him to others. If you need help with struggles, do it privately with someone who can be trusted.

5. Trust him.
This can be tricky, if you have experienced situations in your relationship where trust has been broken – it takes time to build it up again.  Forgiveness can help us begin or continue to build trust. Also, trust him to make decisions for your family!

6. Hope for your marriage.
All marriages struggle at some point or another. Some struggles are larger than others, but most can heal and be made whole again. There is always hope even when we hit rock bottom. God designed marriage to be for life. Always seek Him for counsel through His Word.

7. Persevere for him.
All husbands make mistakes and have struggles. As his wife, we ought to be his biggest support and helper. Let’s be honest, we all make mistakes.  Love perseveres, and love covers a multitude of sins. No matter what*, you’re always fighting for love.

Every day we have an opportunity to show practical love to our spouse.  When the stress comes and struggles get real, take a moment to remember the reasons you fell in love with him so many years ago.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!