Today is a difficult day…….I’m struggling with ACCEPTANCE.
After 10 years of being a Director with Thirty One, I will revert to a Senior Consultant. WOW! I will admit I am struggling. My ego is deflated. My pride is hurt. I have weathered many storms over the years fighting to keep my title. Today I just have to have acceptance. Could I point fingers and play the blame game? YUP! But the truth is life (and the inner gremlins) caused me to think I was less then when the struggles came along. Yup! I played the comparison game. I dabbled in another direct sales company but my heart wasn’t really there.
Acceptance is defined as “the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group“.
Believe it or not, as welcoming as the other group was and still is – it was not where my heart was. I missed the relationships I had built over the years with team members and customers. I struggled to fit in playing the comparison game yet again. My addiction & MS makes building relationships hard for me. The double whammy has also given me double the number of inner gremlins. They usually have me acting in fear instead of being faithful to God’s will. When I opened my eyes, stomped on the gremlins; I was able to see God winks telling me to remain faithful to my heart during the turmoil.
Over the last 3 years through recovery, I thought I had started to accept who I am or at least think I am. I’m usually ready to stomp the inner gremlins when they start wanting to play the comparison game. I still worry about disappointing others. I still worry about whether I am good enough (just not as often). Working a 4th step and taking an inventory can be a blessing and a curse – those who know, know ❤
Not sharing my business struggles sooner as a result of PRIDE left me feeling alone. Over the last 3 months, those secrets of inadequacy kept me sick (and on the road to losing my title)…I was afraid of what my upline would think. Unsure if they would accept me broken and struggling yet again. I hate being the “needy” one. Pride and fear kept feelings stuffed away. The inner gremlins had me convinced my time with Thirty One was over. The reality was………my upline loves me unconditionally and when I stepped up even at the very last minute to “vomit” my feelings, they were loving and supportive. My team has been there through the struggles too so why would I think they wouldn’t be now.
I am learning to accept what is in my life – the good, the bad and the ugly. I am learning to accept I am wonderfully made even on my worst days. I am learning to accept (very slowly) my struggles with MS, having faith in the fact it is all part of God’s plan. Do I think God’s plan was for me to make a mess of my life? NO! I do know he has helped me through the struggles. He accepts me for who I am – no matter what. But can I accept me, is the real question?
- I am a addict recovering from the disease of addition
- I am a child of God as he wraps his loving arms around me
- I am a better me today than I was yesterday
- I am open to God’s plan whatever it may be
- I am an MS warrior and I will not let it defeat me
- I am a giving, loving person who wants to make a difference
Today I have acceptance for where I am in my business and in my life. I accept this is just a bump in the road. I accept this will be part of my story to share with someone else who may need to hear it. I’m not giving up. Thirty One has been the blessing which saved me on my darkest days in more ways than I can count. It helped me get out of credit card debt. It helped me learn how to build relationships. It helped me in my walk with God. It has helped this introvert come out of her shell even when I don’t want to. Being uncomfortable is good sometimes – in business, in recovery and in life.
Today, I am learning to thankful…Being thankful helps you get through life’s tough times, because you can easily call to mind all of the good things in your life. Being grateful just makes you happy and being happy can help keep your mind and body healthy!
Accept who you are, without relying on outside influences. Accept we are not perfect and it is okay. What are you thankful for today?