Unclutter Your Life

You Can STOP the Bullying Self-Talk

13710013_10157280658795220_3621804307325745350_nI have been reflecting on last week’s Thirty One Conference.  From the first speaker, John Fleming at Director’s Day through to the last, Shelene Bryan – it seemed like they were talking to ME!   Doubt and fear has plaques me over the last year or so – in my business, in my personal life and in my faith.  Their words touched my soul and I came home with a new set of tools to fight the bully in my life.

Did you know that everyday, you chat with yourself!  Some may say… NO, I don’t talk to myself BUT the truth is that we do.  Our ‘inner gremlins” are those NAGGY, BULLYING voices that you use to ‘TALK’ to yourself and the harsh, mean tone you use.

Admit it!  You can be flying along having a great day and them WHAM! You find you’ve made a mistake! Or maybe you “forgot” to do something. Or maybe you went off your diet.  Whatever it is – those bullying voices start to creep in.  When the voices grow louder, do they start calling you negative names?

Some can kick them to the curb and keep going on the positive route.  Then there are others who may not close the door totally on those little voices.  Maybe they shout when you least expect it –

YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT!

Those voices are disastrous to your self-confidence when they hit you up on a daily basis.  Those voices CHIP AWAY at your confidence, little by little, and before long you start to believe what they say. Doubt sets in. Fear begins to rule.  Those voices are ECHOES OF THE PAST..words uttered by others in your life when you were a child.

I know, maybe you can’t remember things like that ever being said.  Maybe you tucked them away…. BUT those “inner gremlins” are still lurking in the background in the hopes that you will begin to believe them as an adult.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO STOP THE BULLYS?

Only YOU can take control and kill the chatter. You have the power and ability to change your thoughts and shut down the sound of your bullying voices! Once you’ve reached a point of ‘enough is enough’ negative self-talk, bored feeling like you’re NEVER GOOD ENOUGH and ready to move past it, you can take action and reshape your voices into more encouraging ones!

Only when you do this can you build your confidence in yourself, eliminating FEAR and BELIEVE you can FLY!

Here’s 3 simple ways to SHUT THEM DOWN!

UNDERSTAND

Listen to your voices, listen to how they ‘talk’ to you and especially take note to when your negative chitter chatter gets louder. Do they get louder when

You make a mistake?
You forget to do something? or
You blow your top at someone?

Pay close attention the triggers or what flips the switch into your dismissive voices!

CHALLENGE

When the triggers are switched on, the voices get loud, listen to what they’re saying ..

You’re such a screw-up!
You can’t do anything right! or
Boy, that was a stupid move!

Without hesitation, challenge those statements or ideas with the TRUTH.

Really, you’ve got to be kidding, that’s definitely not true!
Everyone makes mistakes, I learned from it and it’s okay or
Next time I will plan better.

The real truth, of course, is no one messes up CONSTANTLY!

TURN THEM AROUND

When your voices start to bully you, make you want to shrink into a hole and hide, shut them down immediately by responding back with positive messages.

Wow, that’s definitely not true, look at all I’ve accomplished.
Mistakes happen to all of us.
I do my best.
I’m okay with that.

The more you kick the bullying voices to the curb and squash them with positive talk, the more power you build within yourself.

IT’S NOT A QUICK FIX.

No, you won’t go to bed one night and miraculously wake up the next day with all your confidence back.  Step by step, smashing the nagging, mean voices and calling their bluff right away WILL result in a more powerful, self-confident YOU!

“If you wouldn’t say those things to someone else you love, why are you saying them to yourself?” – Elaina Marie

How do you stop those nasty bullying voices? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

Hope Wissel

Your Happiness Trigger

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Happiness is what we all want, right?  To be happy and have harmony in our life.  I never say “balance”.  It makes me feel like it is always one thing or the other instead of my life melting together in harmony.

Valerie Burton is all about being “Unstuck and Unstoppable”.  She has an AWESOME “Happiness Test” that asks a series of questions and at the end you find out what YOUR personal happiness triggers are.

You are thinking “I know what makes me happy”, right?  Spending time with my kids, seeing family, my job, travel, friends, etc.  I am sure the list goes on because for me I thought I knew too.  The truth was that on the surface these are the things that make us happy but deep down what is the core “trigger” for that happiness.

There are two categories of happiness triggers – personal and power.  The top Personal Triggers  are the things that you should nurture, finding new ways to use them more often to boost your happiness level.  These are the triggers that you are unique to your personality and lifestyle.  Here are my top 3:

Service
Key decision: “Every day, I do at least one thing to brighten someone else’s day.”
Service is a habit and genuine enjoyment of serving other people.

Anticipation
Key decision: “Every day, I make sure I have something to look forward to.”       Anticipation is your ability to create a life that is filled with moments and opportunities to look forward to, and intentionally noticing what there is to look forward to on a daily basis.

Smile!
Key decision: “Every day, I find a way to smile – especially on bad days.”
Simply stated, this is your expression of joy through a genuine smile and laughter.

What I found most interesting were my power triggers.  The power triggers provide you with the greatest opportunity to boost your happiness level because these are the ones you use the least – and perhaps even neglect.  YIKES!  These are definitely things that I don’t do a lot of:

Movement
“I spend 30 minutes each day moving my body.”
Movement is exercising and getting your body moving on a regular basis.

Relaxation
“I sleep. I rest. I embrace what is.”
Relaxation is the habit of letting go, slowing down, taking breaks, and trusting that all things will work together for good.

Savoring                                                                                                                                              “Every day, I enjoy a moment worth savoring.”                                                                      Savoring is your ability to actively savor and appreciate positive experiences in your life.

The Happiness Trigger Test takes about 5 minutes, take it and share your results. It is time for you to focus on your power triggers so you can be unstoppable in all areas of our life!

Whatever your triggers may be, I would love the chance to celebrate, encourage and reward you.  Let me put your happiness level into overdrive and best of all, I will reward you with FREE and discounted products for you, your friends and your family.  Want to know more? Fill out the form below

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!