Hug a Porcupine and Squeeze a Skunk

Thank you KAREN EHMAN for today’s message..

I once worked as a substitute teacher. While that evokes images of chewing gum stuck to chairs and strategically placed “Kick me!” signs, this was not my experience. Sure, many of the kids were squirrely, but I never had an ounce of trouble with any of them.

Until one day.

That was the day the principal told me, “In third hour you will have a student named John Smith. Just send him down to the office before class starts. He’s known as Big Bad John, and he’s never successfully made it through even one hour with a sub. He will disrupt the class, bully others and try to make you look stupid. I want to spare you any confrontation.”

I knew exactly which student he meant and really wanted a chance to reach this troublemaker. So I petitioned the principal: “May I attempt to keep him in class and then send him to the office if he causes trouble? I’d love to try, if you don’t mind.”

“Be my guest,” he laughingly replied. “I’ll expect him shortly after class begins.”

Just before third period, a towering, husky student appeared in the doorway. He had on ripped jeans — before they were fashionable — and a soiled light blue T-shirt. I could tell from the way the students stayed back that his odor was as unpleasant as his appearance and personality. I shot up a quick prayer and greeted him.

With a smug look on his unwashed face, he boldly declared, “I suppose you’ve heard ’bout me. I’ll bet the principal told you to send me right to the office ’cause ain’t none of you subs able to handle me.”

“Nope,” I replied, just as quickly and confidently. “I heard you were going to be in my class, and I also heard you are a great kid. Do you mind helping me pass out these papers?”

Big Bad John wasn’t sure what to do. Some he threw on the floor. Another he used to play a game of keep-away with a girl in class. I followed behind him, corrected whatever he did, picking up the papers or gently taking one from his hand to give to a student. I thanked him when he was through, making no comment on his behavior.

Next, we watched a movie, and John began to act like his nickname. He was disruptive — not just talking but also taunting other students.

I walked over to his chair, squatted down, looked him in the eye and firmly but gently said, “Hey, look, John. I know that you have a reputation of never being able to make it through an hour with a substitute teacher. But I say today we show the principal a thing or two. I know you can cooperate. I know you are a good kid deep down inside. I’d love for that good kid to come out today and for us to be friends. Are you willing to give it a try, just this once?”

His countenance softened. For the last 15 minutes of class, John actually watched the movie without incident. After class, the school’s office staff buzzed with the news that this school bully had made it through an entire hour with a sub. After that, whenever I had John in class, he behaved well. In fact, when he saw me out at a basketball game or the grocery store, he smiled, waved and hollered, “Hi, lady.”

It’s easy to love those who are lovable. It’s a breeze to be kind to people you like. But to truly be patient and gentle toward someone who acts unloving or unbecoming is an altogether special assignment — one Jesus not only taught, but modeled.

He spent much of his time on earth with the not-so-popular people. He touched the leper. He granted dignity to the prostitute. He welcomed children and the tax collectors and those whom society rejected. Jesus modeled upside-down living and loving. And He urges us to do the same.

Let’s make it our aim not to just love the easy-to-love, but to hug the “porcupines” and squeeze the “skunks” in our lives, reaching those whose behavior and demeanor usually pushes people away rather than draws them in close.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Team Building

My daughter, Belinda was on an All Star Cheerleading team.  They had a common goal with a  vision – to be champions.  As crazy as it sounds, I never really thought about my direct sales team in the same way.  A team with a common goal and vision – to make a difference in the world.

This week’s topic in my NIV Leadership Bible was “team building” and a light bulb went off.  Yes, I have been a Leader for two years.  Yes, I thought I had it all together – most of the time.  BUT I realized that my team doesn’t have a common goal.  I don’t want the common goal to reaching my numbers or winning an incentive trip.  I want their common goal, to be “combining their strengths to help one another to grow and to change their world”. 

As a team member, have you thought your only role was to help your up line earn more money?  Do you figure you don’t have enough time for my family, my job/ business; how could I possible help someone else?    Do you think; “I have nothing in common with the rest of the team” or maybe it is “I can barely help myself, how can I help others”?

As a leader, have you worked to bring unity to your team?  Does your team come together or do they barely know each other?  Are you team members willing to share their strengths, hopes and experiences so that they can help others on the team?  Or do they only post when you ask a question?  Do they share ideas to help others?

To be honest, the leader questions had me thinking  about things.  For me, I have an individual connection with each of the members of my team.  God placed each of us in the others lives for a reason.  The reason was clear from the beginning with some while others it took time to see and then a few who I am still not sure the reason. My team is from a variety of backgrounds, life experiences,  and different personalities.  A “diverse team is tougher to lead – but training lions is more exciting than feeding goldfish!”.  So true!

 I am going to step out of the comfort zone to try this out:

• List the strengths of each team member as an individual – in their business, their personal life and in their personality.
• Work out a plan for each of them to share their strength with the others on the team.
• Highlight their skill or strength in a Facebook post on the team page or at a gathering or in a short video or in the monthly team newsletter.  Whatever works for that team member.

The goal is to build a strong team that is working together to help each other reach their full potential.  It is not just about the sales.  It is about using the skills that we have to make a difference in the world around us.  As we make a difference in the world, the sales will come.

Maybe you have someone who is great at budgeting or saving money with coupons.  Maybe you have someone who is great at organizing their calendar – you know juggling multiple things on a daily basis.  Maybe you have someone who is great at starting conversations with people when out and about.  Let them share it with the team.  Encourage them to share their strengths (even those that they don’t see) to help others.

In the early years of  HIV/AIDS,  most of my clients were hiding in the shadows.  As I learned their strengths and talents, I provided them with a safe space to learn and grow.  The result was an AMAZING group of people that came together (when needed) to help each other in their own way.  Their vision was to make a difference in the world, and believe me, each of them left a lasting impression on those lives that they touched.

So, that is how I want to lead my team – “combining their strengths to help one another to grow and to change their world”.  What about you?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!