A Tribute to Dad!

Today will be a rough day…. we say good bye to my Dad, Robert Milfred Heldreth (aka Milfred Lee or Bob).  I’ve gone back and forth trying to decide what to write.  I have decided to be true to sharing my strengths, hopes and experiences with my readers.

Dad was born in El Monte, CA, as Milfred Lee Heldreth (otherwise known as Bob) where he joined the Army when he was 15.  Of course he had to change his birth certificate so he could serve his country. He served for 7 years and was a member of A Troop 66th Squadron 6th Regiment serving in Dergendorf, Germany for two years.  Dad told this story often but the reality hit when we found the “corrected” discharge papers from the Army.

He loved working with his hands and held a variety of jobs – a real “jack of all trades”. He was always building something.  He changed our garage into a family room.  He built a deck off the house.  He even built a trailer which we used when we traveled cross country.  And then there was the endless hours spent working on cars.  He bought my first car and spray painted it blue for me.  I was not initially happy with it because it was a stick shift BUT I learned to love it.  He taught me how to change a tire, and check my oil so when Belinda got her license they were things I taught her before she could go out on her own driving.  His garage and his tools are a true testament to his love of fixing things. Dad’s jobs came with perks…. being the manager of the Monmouth Bottle Shop got us a trip to Acapulco when I was 13 years old.

He was a ham radio operator with the call letters WA2IAE. He loved connecting with people all across the world and being able to help others. Many of my school projects were done with the help of dad’s connections.  Postcards and items from across the country were always good for bonus points.

Dad was loving and kind, nonjudgmental and accepting. Yes, there were tough times with  years of anger and hurt when my parents divorced.  Dad was not perfect.  He admitted his faults, and even with memories of bad times, I forgave him.  No matter how bad a situation was, he always found the silver lining and worked through it.

Dad loved to tell stories which always left us wondering if they were true or just a tall tale.  Did he really eat bugs as a kid growing up?  He shared many stories with my daughter who as a child was always ready to share them with her classmates.  Of course, the teachers sometimes wondered if they were true too.He leaves a legacy filled with memories for his family and friends. Dad liked to cook especially on the grill.  Didn’t matter if there was snow or rain, he found a way to grill.  He was best known for his mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving – no lumps.  Despite our best efforts, none of us have ever gotten the hang to it.  Then there were his potato pancakes made with the left over mashed potatoes.  Mom and dad actually served breakfast to the entire Junior Class of OTHS after the Prom in 1974.  Yes, the entire class.

He was a Past Master of Asbury Lodge #142 F&AM, a Past Patron of Neptune Chapter #214 and a past member of the Advisory Board for Iris Assembly #31, Order of the Rainbow for Girls.

Dad taught me many lessons which have helped to mold me into the person I am today.  I love you dad!

Friday Fun Day

WOOHOO!  Who doesn’t love Fridays?  Okay, so some of you may work on the weekends – been there, done that so if you do, think of “Fun Friday” as the day before your two days off.  Isn’t it a relief to know you have the next two days to take a break from work? You can let down your guard, dress casually and as a result you have more spring in your step and accomplish just a bit more.

Have you ever wondered why Fridays are on the pedestal while we struggle with Mondays or even Tuesdays? What if we had an entire week of Fridays? No, I am not advocating quitting your job, although working from home and making my own hours had a BIG impact on my attitude.

Today is all about finding the “fun” in your business again.  Building relationships with our customers.

By definition, a customer is “a person who purchases goods or services from another”. Basic right? We all know it – we have been customers, we know customers and we need them in our business.

Now, take a moment to think about how you shop… Do you shop for the best sales? Do you buy the same product, time and again – why? Do you travel to certain stores because of the awesome service they provide? Are you faithful to one store? Are you faithful to one direct sales consultant per company or do you hop from consultant to consultant?

In direct sales, we sometimes joke and ask customers if they are “married” to their consultant. Why? Their answer will tell us how faithful they are to their consultant.  I am  not one to step on others toes, so I want to be sure they return to their regular consultant  or if they don’t have one, I then know they are fair game to “court” for business.

Rhonda Abrams wrote an article about “Getting and keeping customers is like any relationship. It takes courtship, commitment, and ongoing communication to keep the spark alive.” I liked how she talked about the stages of building a relationship with your customers.

STAGE 1: 

• Show up. Be visible with your product. Use it, wear it, display it!
• Look good. Do you have a website? If your company offers one, even at a minimal charge – GET IT!
• Be social. Facebook? Pinterest? Twitter? Instagram? LinkedIn? There are so many to choose from – pick the one which works best for YOU!
• Be interesting. Share your expertise. It isn’t all about the product. You have experience and ideas, tidbits of information to share – let people get to know YOU.
• Keep at it. Market, market, market. Customers don’t just show up; you have to continually court them.

STAGE 2: 

• Get personal. Customers need to sense a personal connection with you. Help them get to know you — and try to get to know them.
• Mind your manners. Be polite. Smile. Learn customers’ names. Say thank you – a lot. Remember, your customers want to feel they are being treated like people, not dollar signs.
• Know what you’re talking about. Understand your products and policies and be able to answer customers’ questions quickly and thoroughly.

STAGE 3: 

• Be honest. Tell them if you don’t have something to meet their needs. If you don’t know – tell them then find out and get back to the quickly.
• Price fairly. In direct sales, our products already come priced so even if you aren’t the cheapest option, you have to be a realistic choice.
• Provide something customers will be glad they bought. Always deliver quality, and you’ll increase customer satisfaction and garner rave reviews. I LOVE when someone has a Thirty One product and can sing its praises.
• Let them in. My business is an open book for my customers – who knows they could be my next recruit.

STAGE 4: 

• Add a special touch. When I deliver packages to a hostess, the orders are bagged and tagged with a thank you note. I do lots of snail mail cards, etc just to let my customers know I care.
• Go the extra mile. Exceed expectations; give a little extra. I offer referral gifts when  someone joins my team and is referred by a customer.  The thank you is for getting them to my door, and the rest is up to me.
• Use a good customer relationship management system. My system is a notebook and tickler file – basic paper.  It allows me to stay in touch on a more personal basis with my customers.
• Show them a good time. Host holiday events and open houses. This is one of my customers favorite things. My condo has become too cramped now so it is time to find and move to a larger space.
• Be loyal. Give customers good customer service and they will continue to keep coming back.

So, are all four stages a part of YOUR business? Are customers jumping ship to go to a different consultant? Do they “just shop at parties”? Keep your customers coming back to you and continue to grow your business. I would love to hear your thoughts….

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

March Madness

WOOHOO!  It is Monday morning and I am ready to conquer the world.  Okay, so it may be a slight stretch but I am ready to get into the spirit of March Madness.  No, I am not talking about basketball… I am talking about Thirty One’s March Madness.

If you haven’t heard yet, Thirty One has an AMAZING opportunity for hostesses this month.  Are you ready?

That’s right with a $500 party you get DOUBLE hostess credits so instead of $90 in FREE products you are gong to $180!  Talk about a shopping spree!I know, no time for a party right?  The house is a mess and no time to clean.  No room to have my friends over. None of my friends live close.  Too busy.  No money.  I have heard all of the reasons why you can’t have a party and get FREE stuff BUT for just 31 minutes of your time on Facebook, you could have a party.  Yes, you heard me right.

My new Facebook parties have me LIVE with you and your friends for 31 minutes highlighting all of the products you want to see up close. A personal shopper coming right into your home.  Here is how it works….

• I will send you a hostess packet for our party within the next 14 days.
• You share the catalog with friends and family to gather some outside orders.
• You will send me a guest list of 20 people who you want to attend with their snail mail address.  I will send them a personal paper invite with a treat.  Of those 20, you will pick 10 people who are a must have at your party.  Those individuals will receive a mini  catalog with a bonus option for helping you collect orders.
• Once I have the list, I will set up you Facebook party.
• We will do some posts on the party before it starts
• The day of the LIVE party, I will tell everyone how to earn tickets to win
• We will go live at the designated time for some fun and games.
• We will close your party within 48 hours of the LIVE event

Easy peasy, right?  No fuss. No mess.

The best part is all of the NEW items in March at Thirty One

#1 – March Customer Special…… I LOVE this special.  Some of our most popular bags from the NEW Spring catalog on sale

#2 Close to Home Tray is BACK!  This product sold out in 23 days when it was introduced during the holidays.  It is back with two options for personalization.

#3 – Celebrating Teachers and Nurses.  

#4 – You asked for it, we have it!  The NEW Softball icon..

Can you thing better than being a hostess in March?  Maybe it is starting your own business with one of our Spring Enrollment kits…

  

Not only do you get paid to party BUT you will also have the chance to get up to 4 of these amazing kits for FREE each month for the first four months.

So, who is ready to join in the fun?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

How Do You Measure Your Worth?

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.” ~Robert Hand

Do you remember the first time you were gripped by fear?  Maybe it was wanting the perfect score on a test?  Maybe it was vying for a promotion and thinking you were not good enough?  Regardless of what the scene was, maybe you felt like if you didn’t do XYZ perfectly, then you were worthless.

For years, I strove to be the best. From wanting to be in the popular crowd in school to wanting to achieve the top spot in my chosen field.  Each time I added something to my list of achievements, I felt a surge of worthiness.  I felt good about myself…. the cycle of tying my worth to my achievements had started.

As I look back on my high school years, from my teen pregnancy on, I felt unworthy. Unworthy of love.  Unworthy of the promotion.  Never measuring up despite the positive accomplishments in my life.  Then the years in my addiction caused more feelings of unworthiness.

When I got clean, I was forced to redefine my idea of self-worth. I realized chasing my worth based on one accomplishment after another was making me miserable. The truth was I was caught in the comparison game. I had to learn I am worthy simply because I exist, and nothing more.

Do you want to overcome the need to base your worth on accomplishments? Here are so tips to help you:

1. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself be sure they have nothing to do with an achievement.

Silly?  Hard?  Absolutely! The first time I did this, nothing came to mind except my accomplishments.

Slowly, I embraced the fact I love how giving I am. I’m compassionate and sensitive, which I love about myself.  I’m a good listener. The list keeps flowing as I sit and reflect.

Having a hard time? Ask your loved ones or a few close friends to tell you what they love about you. It is a wonderful way to remind you; you are more than what you do.

2. Redefine your idea of success.

How did you feel the last time you perused social media and saw your friends accomplishing seemingly great things in their life. They looked successful, and I felt unsuccessful as a retired social worker with my own business.

So what does a successful life look like to me?  For me, a successful life is spending the day doing things I love. Having loving relationships. It would be making a positive impact, however small, in the life of others.  It isn’t all about the money.

Guess what I realized? My life is already a success. I spend my days working for myself and making a difference in the lives of others.  I have wonderful loving relationships.

When you are gripped with unworthiness, ask yourself what success would look like to you, and you alone. Are there ways you’re already living a successful life, based on your  own definition? The answer might surprise you.

3. Practice unconditional self-love.

Do you know what dogs (or cats) and babies have in common? They don’t have to do a single thing to deserve our love or be worthy of our love. They don’t try to prove themselves to us. We love them unconditionally simply because they exist.  So what if we applied the same principal to ourselves? What if we didn’t have to do anything or prove anything to be worthy of self- love? What if we deserved unconditional love, just like our pets or our children?

Practice extending unconditional love to yourself by forgiving yourself when you’re not perfect, and recognizing you deserve love no matter what you achieve.

Letting go of perfectionism isn’t easy.  We are a work in progress.  Stifling the need to base our worth on external validation is a continual process. But, with time, we can begin to shed our layers of conditioning that taught us we are not worthy, and see ourselves for the beautifully deserving beings we are.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Our Self-Esteem Impacts Our Children

Today is the day many kids are headed back to school.  With it comes fears and anxiety especially for those entering a new school or just starting school.  Regardless of the age, positive self-esteem is important.

As parents, we want to believe our kids are confident – maybe just a little shy.  We want to believe they are ready to handle any situation.  The truth is despite our best efforts, some children don’t always get it.  The cold hard fact is they learn by example.  They follow our lead.  Are you a picture of positive self-esteem or does Negative Nelly invade your space?

I struggled with low self-esteem since I was a child.  There is not one incident which changed things for me – just a lot of little things.  As I grew into an adult, the fears and negative self-esteem were stuffed deep down.  My fear of disappointing others became the one thing that controlled my life.  Only to later show up during my years of addiction and recovery.  There are still days when Negative Nelly shows her face.  There are still days the fear of disappointing others control my actions.  I say all of this to share how this impacted my daughter….

In reflection, my negative self-imagine had a dramatic impact on my daughter.  What I perceived as a confident, self-assured athlete with lots of friends was far from the truth.  I made excuses for her not showing emotion in most situations.  I tried to overcompensate so she would not fall victim to Negative Nellie.

Years later she shared her true feelings.  She shared about the years of bullying.  The years of stuffing the negative feelings.  The years of never wanting to disappoint me.  Why?  Because she saw me do it.  YIKES!  Despite my best efforts, Negative Nelly made her way through the “perfect veneer”.

Thirty One provides these statistics – my daughter was one of those statistics.

Social media was not big until my daughter’s teen years, so the negative self-image was a direct result of what she saw in school, conversations she was involved in combined with the harsh words of the other children.  Now a days, social media is a strong  basis for social comparisons, self-evaluation or self-enhancement.   

As our kids go off to school, we need to be aware.  Aware of their reaction to positive or negative evaluations of themself when they compare to others.  The verbal comparisons our kids make in conversation can shed the light on their personal self-esteem.  Also, the things they don’t say.  Their actions or lack of reactions.  Bullying or social comparison is HUGE in today’s society.  We unfortunately live in a world driven by more money, better clothes, the perfect looks and the need to have “it all” (whatever that is).

In this busy world, full of social media which allows us access to information about a wide range of people and allowing unlimited networking opportunities, there is a potential downside to frequent social media use. When people with low self-esteem use social media sites, it can create a vicious cycle which can further impact their negative self-esteem.

Okay, so I have been rambling a bit today.  Some brain fog BUT I wanted to share how important this subject is especially as kids head back to school.

My concern is for the 62% of children who have low self-esteem; who think they are fat, or not pretty enough, or not good enough.  For those children who believe their parents aren’t as good as their friends who appear to have a perfect life.  I grew up in an era of, what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors.  The secrets of the family stays in the family – so on the outside things looked perfect but on the inside things were a mess.  It is those beliefs perpetuating the negative comparisons that effect our children.

Let’s work together to put a stop to the bullying and the negative self-esteem.  Let’s make a difference in the life of a child, letting them know that they are special and worthy EVEN if they are different.  Won’t you join me?

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!