Hanging on the wall in our living room is a collage of pictures from our wedding day. Pictures of family – some of who are no longer with us but the one that always stands out for me is the one of hubby and I. In the frame are the well wishes from those who joined us on that special day.
Each time I look at the picture, I remember the excitement and how I thought “life really won’t change much, we have been together for so long”. I remember saying to people “it is only a piece of paper, nothing will change”. Those words always make me smile and snicker a little.
It has only been 4 years of marriage, but I would have pulled me aside on that day and said:
There is only one day where marriage looks like the storybooks. It’s this your wedding day, is where every hour has been arranged and planned to be beautiful and special. As the day ends, realize what happens from here is all about choices.
Being married is amazing. Being married is incredibly difficult. Being married can seem impossibly hard. Being married can seem incredibly beautiful. There is no other person who can frustrate me the way my hubby can. There is no other person who can make me feel as loved as my hubby can.
He didn’t remember that I had a meeting. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t listening to you.
He talked about the new gym opening down the street. It doesn’t mean that he thinks you are fat.
He is always on the computer when we are watching a movie at home. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me enough to give me his full attention.
These little things can unravel a relationship when we let perceived unkind words plant seeds of discouragement. Those little seeds can grow into big wedges of discontentment.
Don’t fall into the trap of just thinking about your differences, discussing your issues, complaining about your challenges and attempting to fix things on your own. Thinking, talking, complaining and working on those things is not at all the same as praying for them.
Remember, the more you do battle for your marriage on your knees, the less you will fight in the flesh.
As I finished this imaginary conversation, I realized that I needed a fresh dose of applying my own advice. I need to bring every concern I have and blessing I desire for our marriage to the Lord in prayer.
I have have been getting a daily email over the last few weeks that has truly helped me to focus on my marriage called Marriage Prayer. The few moments that I take each day to talk with God has helped my patience level as well as helped me to see the good in hubby before quickly jumping to the negative.
Take a moment to thank God for the blessing of your marriage even during the struggles, it is a blessing. Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!