Hope Wissel, Recovery, Weigh to Goal

Jiggle Thighs and Acceptance

Once a month, I am doing a “me blog post”.  Basically, sharing my strength, hope and experience about something.  I looked back on past blog posts for inspiration when I stumbled on one I did in April 2013.

I am learning to accept me for me.  Not easy since I have had a negative self image for as long as I can remember.  Why is it the negative is easier to remember with my MS than the positive things?  A post for another time….

For as long as I can remember, I have had “bumps” on the top of my thighs and my thighs jiggled.  Yes, they got smaller with the loss of 105 pounds but they are still there!  There was even a time when I was working at WAWA where I think they were not as obvious – at least to me.  I mean standing on your feet and doing lots of walking (15,000 steps a day) had some benefits even though I usually felt like a MAC truck hit me.  As my MS reared its ugly head, I struggled with walking long distances.  I struggled with being on my feet a lot so of course working was no long an option. What is a girl to do?  I ride a stationary bike at least 3 times a week, I walk when I can but probably not nearly as much as I should. Opps, there is that word “should”.  I hate wearing my brace on walks because I am forced to accept my limitations due to my MS.

Since COVID and the move, I have been living in yoga/leggings.  I have maintained my BIG weight loss and am about 10 pounds from my original goal weight yet the “jiggle thighs” seem to still be there.  Of course, to me they are really obvious because my waist shrinks (the first place I lose weight) and nothing is in proportion.  So maybe this isn’t your problem area, maybe it is the “jiggle arms” or the muffin top or the roll our bra creates – no matter what we all seem to judge ourselves when we look in the mirror.

How about this thought….My jiggle thighs (or your problem area) are evidence of God’s goodness in my life! Sounds crazy, right? Mind you I never notice this or any other problem area on other people, just on myself.  Most people don’t mention it – okay maybe an occasional child who is curious but why wouldn’t they be – I’m curious as to know why God has blessed me with these wonderful thighs.  LOL.

 
I read something awhile ago by Jen Wilken who wrote The expectation of physical perfection hits modern females early and often”.  Expectations, OMG!  I have learned in my recovery journey, expectations are not good.   She goes on to say Increasingly, physical perfection is the legacy of womanhood in our culture, handed down with meticulous care from mother to daughter, with more faithful instruction in word and deed than we can trouble to devote to cultivating kindness, peacemaking, and acceptance that characterize unfading, inner beauty.”
 
I say all this to say – let’s not torture ourselves with lies about the need to have a perfect body or to be an ideal weight.  I am not saying – don’t be healthy, what I am saying is strive for a goal that is reachable for you.  I am learning to accept me for me – jiggle thighs and all – knowing I am beautifully made by God.  I am not less than because it has taken me a “LONG” time to reach my goal weight.  I am not less than because my body is not a perfect size 10.  There will be ups and downs in my weight loss journey just like there is in life.  Consider those “downs” as blessings where we learn more about ourselves and our relationship with our Higher Power. Learning to love myself is one of the hardest things I have ever done!  
 
Today, I am living in the hope, security and the arms of a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally.  Give yourself a break today and know as long as you are trying your best – that is all that God is asking of you.
 
For tips on healthy weight loss check out – Weight Watchers. This is the program I lost all of my weight on.  It took me longer than I expected. There are those “expectations” again.  I compared myself to others (guess that is a character defect I will need to deal with, LOL) and still do in many areas of my life.  Just for today, I looked in the mirror and actual like the person I am.  Give yourself a break.  If you can’t love yourself totally, find at least ONE area you can love (great smile, pretty eyes, great personality) and count your blessings.  Have patience, and think positive thoughts.
 
Have ThirtyOne-derful day.
Feel Good Friday

Feeling Good about Jiggle Thighs

NO! This is not a picture of me….I have been on a journey to get back to goal weight since January.  Back to Weight Watchers, walking or moving more and I have been STUCK!  Well, the scale seems to move VERY slowly but those “jiggle thighs” don’t seem to be going anywhere.

I am looking forward to the Leadership Cruise in September so I am on a mission.  I am fighting playing the comparison game. I am fighting the gremlins who want me to be more concerned about what others will think of me than me loving me for me.  I’m sure I am not alone.  Swimsuit season is upon us or at least it will be VERY soon and it makes me CRINGE!  What about you?

I read a blog post on Women Living Well about learning to accept things.  It made me stop and realize I need to look at my “jiggle thighs” in a different way..

For as long as I can remember, I have had “bumps” on the top of my thighs. Yes, they have gotten smaller with the loss of 105 pounds but they are still there! I walk, maybe not as much as I could (or should) but you would figure loosing 105 pounds would have helped to get rid of them, right? Most of the time my clothes conceal them but I still know they are there. Of course you can really notice them as my waist continues to shrink and nothing is in proportion. Maybe this isn’t your problem area, maybe it is the “jiggle arms” or the muffin top or the roll our bra creates – no matter what we all seem to judge ourselves when we look in the mirror..

How about this thought….My jiggle thighs (or your problem area) are evidence of God’s goodness in my life! Sounds crazy, right? Mind you I never notice this or any other problem area on other people, just on myself. Most people don’t mention it – okay maybe an occasional child who is curious but why wouldn’t they be – I’m curious to know why God has blessed me with these wonderful thighs.

Jen Wilken said “The expectation of physical perfection hits modern females early and often. In middle school, girls cut themselves to deal with the pressures of conforming to the ideal. In middle age, women do, too—but allow the surgeon to hold the knife.” WOW! She then goes on to say “We carve the record of our self-loathing into the very flesh of our bodies—a self-marring, a literal carving of an idol. Increasingly, physical perfection is the legacy of womanhood in our culture, handed down with meticulous care from mother to daughter, with more faithful instruction in word and deed than we can trouble to devote to cultivating kindness, peacemaking, and acceptance that characterize unfading, inner beauty.”

Yes, I considered surgery.  We even met with a doctor to see what would be involved.  By the time we left, they had described a procedure which would cut me almost in half.  They would take out the cellulite and the excess skin from the weight loss.  The healing time would be several months.  Then he said “there is no guarantee the bumps won’t come back”. WAIT! You mean even after all of this, and sticking to my WW program there is still the possibility they may return.  I will admit, I was willing to take the chance.  Then after much thought, prayer and discussion with hubby – I decided against it.

So, every day I work on squashing the inner gremlins who want to torture me with lies about the need to have a perfect body or to be an ideal weight. It doesn’t mean don’t be healthy. It means strive for a goal reachable for you. I am learning to accept me for me – jiggle thighs and all – knowing I am beautifully made by God. Most days this is a tough pill for me to swallow.  I am not less than because it has taken me a “LONG” time to reach my goal weight. I am not less than because my body is not a perfect size 10.

Today, I am living in the hope, security and the arms of a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally. Give yourself a break today and know as long as you are trying your best – it is all God is asking of you.

For tips on healthy weight loss check out – Weight Watchers.

Have ThirtyOne-derful day.

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Love Your Hubby

Have you ever thought that your husband is taking time away from what you want “to do”, or  that it take alot of energy to please him or that you repeatedly need to compromise?  Do you feel like your husband took your dreams, goals and time?  Do you feel bitter or even “snarky” at times?  And a bitter wife – isn’t pretty. Honestly, I never really felt like this but I have been told that I can get a little snarky!

Titus 2:3-5 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

I always thought that it would be natural to love my hubby – but sadly sometimes it is not. I know that I can’t be the only one who has a moment or a day when she says “if only……”, right?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my hubby and am blessed to have him in my life but there are those moments…

Here are some ways to love our hubby (and our kids) courtesy of Women Living Well:

1.) Think loving thoughts.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 says love is patient, kind, not rude or self-seeking, not easily angered and on and on the list goes.

I need to memorize this.  I need to be patient when hubby is late.  When hubby needs my help – I need to be understanding and not self-seeking.  A Christian home should be warm and loving as we reflect the love of Jesus to our families.  Some days this is such a struggle for me.  Sometime the craziness of the day, the to do list, the juggling of work, home and business get the best of me.

2.) Be Kind and Tenderhearted.  When hubby pushes my last button, I explode and get snarky!  I need to exchange these sinful traits with kindness, compassion and a tender heart.  Those random acts of kindness that we want to share with the world, why not start with home.  Ladies, lets be honest, we feel like we are always giving but are we doing it out of kindness or out of of obligation.  What if we were to change the feelings behind what we do, would the response be different?  I don’t know, maybe.

3.) Express Affection and Delight in Your Husband

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth– for your love is more delightful than wine.”  Song of Solomon 1:2

This one was an AHA!  I haven’t been affectionate lately.  I stopped holding his hand, rubbing his back, and greeting him with a smile and a kiss. I am sure that hubby sometimes wonder if I even like him,  though he knows that I love him.   Giving out hugs and kisses generously is something that has slipped away.  Don’t get me wrong, things are good, we are comfortable and content with each other.

As time goes on, life gets in the way.  We get busy and the things that we used to do, we no longer do.  Take time for those you love – this is a reminder for me too.  Do we stop pursuing the heart of our husbands once we have them?  I know that sometimes that is the case for men but what about us, aren’t we the same?

Take time today to surprise your hubby with a gentle kiss or grab his hand as you walk into church or a store or better yet perform some random act of kindness.  Show him how much you love him – like you did when you were dating.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

 

 

Hope Wissel, Relax, Reflect, Recharge

Differences in Marriage

This morning I am wondering how hubby puts up with me – my mood swings, my independence, and my occasional sharp tongue.  I realize that it is the same reasons that I tolerate his quirks.  As I was thinking about what to blog about on a day devoted to reflecting, recharging and relaxing – I was reminded that God made men and women incredibly different and we actually complement each other despite the fact that some days it feels like huge hurdles in the road.

Rob and I are very, very different people.

I am an extrovert – the more the merrier is my mentality!  He is an introvert – he is very private.

I love social media and social gatherings fill me up!  My husband does not participate in social media, and social gatherings are starting to be something he considers instead of a flat out “no”!

I like Christian and country music.  He is classic rock all the way.

I love big cities and knowing my neighbors.  He would love to live on a huge piece of land and not see the neighbors!

I am a creative spirit – love spur of the moment things and do little time planning.  He is a planner and loves a schedule.

Our family histories are very different. Our school experiences were very different. Our life experiences are very different since we reunited after 30 years.

Despite all of the differences, I am often amazed at how like-minded we are in our morals, values, our love for each other and our families.  Some days, I let the differences frustrate me and as a result my sharp tongue gets to working overtime.  I am not going to change him just as he is not going to to change me – we may bend a little but the change is never permanent.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 2:3-5

So how do we deal with differences in marriage?  

1.) Do not be selfish. (verse 3)  This is easy for us since we are both givers and are often not good at receiving.

2.) Humble yourself and look at your husband as more significant than yourself. (verse 3)  This one is sometimes a little bit more difficult for me.  Despite the fact that we have been together for almost 13 years,  we have only been married 3 and I have only just started submitting to him as the husband over the last year. God continues to work on me every day in this area.  This marriage thing is sometimes a struggle for this highly independent women.

3.) Do not discount your husband’s interests. (verse 4).  This is a tough one too!  We don’t share a lot of the same interests so I focus on the ones that we do share.  I even try to listen as he talks about the things that interest him – not always easy but I do continue to try.

4.) Have the mind of Christ. (verse 5).  I ask God for guidance every day, the problem is that I need to LISTEN more.  My Serenity Prayer is a constant reminder for God’s will not my own in my daily life.

Have you humbled yourself and considered laying aside your own interests for the sake of your husband, for the sake of your marriage and for the sake of Christ?  

Thank you Women Living Well for another reminder of the importance of keeping God in the forefront of my marriage.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Business Tips and Tricks, Entrepreneurial Think Tank for Moms, Hope Wissel, So You Want to be a Leader?

Blogging Changes Lives

I know you are thinking – why is she talking about blogging AGAIN?  First, I can’t believe that I have been blogging daily for over 4 months.  Who would have thought a simple challenge from Vanessa Coppes of ETTM would get me obsessed with blogging?  Do I struggle some days finding a topic? YES!  Do I wonder if anyone actually reads them?  YES!  It is the occasional comment or message from a friend or reader that keeps me going, wanting to write more and share more.  I was surprised a National Conference at how many people actually read my blog!  It was humbling to think that people read AND shared it with friends, family and team members.

The Sales MOMS Network actually did a story on Blogging for Direct Sales“.  There are some great suggestions in there on how to get started if you are in direct sales and are considering blogging.  It can be a little scary at first but the benefits far outweigh the scare factor.  The also shared a blog on “The 7 Tips of Basic Blogging”.

Another blog that I follow is by Women Living Well who shared how FIVE years of blogging had changed her life.  That is ALOT of blogging.  She shares how writing of other others in the blogging community has changed her – I can so relate to that.  I remember the first time that Deb Bixler included my name in a tweet – I was shocked, honored and for those that know me – yes, I cried just a little but they were tears of joy.

Looking for a way to get started – try the The Editorial Checklist Planner”  by The House of Papier.  I had the chance to hear Melissa share at an ETTM meeting and she was AMAZING.  Her book is a BIG help for those of us who blog on a regular basis.  I tend to think of topics all of the time so this helps to keep me at least a little organized.  I mean who wants to read the same blogs all the time, right?

Are you considering blogging?  What have you got to loose, right?  Will it give you instant business?  Probably not.  Will it help you to develop relationships?  Absolutely.  I know for me, it has changed my life.  It has helped me step just a little further out of my comfort zone by sharing sides of myself that very few people know.  I LOVE helping others to grow – personally and professionally to be the best that they can be.  Remember “You can’t fail if you don’t stop BEFORE you SUCCEED.” Wise words from Mary Christensen.

I challenge each of you to move the walls of your comfort zone so that you can grow.  It it isn’t blogging, maybe it is picking up the phone and making calls. Or is it sharing the gift of your business with someone that you don’t know?  Whatever the wall is – step beyond it and experience the greatest gift of all – overcoming your own personal FEAR.  I look forward to hearing about the walls you are moving – please share.  If you are blog or are starting a blog – share that information below so we can all check it out.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day.