Hope Wissel, Unclutter Your Life

Are You Keeping Yourself from Happiness

Happy Woman

Pictures like this make me smile thinking of warm weather and being outside.  The dreadful cold this winter has some of us considering a move to warmer climates while others are experiencing seasonal depression.  The truth is that some of our habits actually cause us to miss out on happiness.

Think about the great habits that we grew up with and ideals that are probably the foundation of our value system.  When you finish with these “great habits”, how do you feel?  Are you drained? In a funk?  Out of sorts? Exhausted?  Why is that when these are the things that have been instilled in many of us since we were children?

After reading an article by tinybudha.com, I started wondering about those “great habits”… see what you think

1. The habit of working hard at the exclusion of all else.

I have been and some would say that I still am a workaholic. The truth is, I feel like many years were less than rewarding, financially and emotionally, because I neglected the more essential aspects of building a career, such as creating relationships and building trust.  I really didn’t think much about building relationships until I started my direct sales career.  I mean weren’t most of us raised to be hard workers with a sense of pride. It’s what expected, right?

What to do instead: Pause long enough to examine the big picture and the situation at hand, and question your current approach. Is more work going really to give you the results you need?

2. The habit of taking care of everyone and everything else first.

Have you taken care of everyone else over the years with little thought of your own needs?  Have you become bitter?  I don’t mean nasty bitter just with the thought that you are not appreciated for what you do.  Do you fall into the martyr syndrome or poor me?  Did you ever think that you could be self-nurturing and care for everyone else too.  Maybe you are sacrificing your own well-being because you don’t want to seem “selfish.” EEKK!!!

What to do instead: Know that sacrifice does not earn the respect or gratitude of others. Being a good role model does. Take care of yourself so you’re strong and healthy for the important people in your life. It’s not selfish. It’s self-nurturing, it’s necessary, and you’re allowed.

3. The habit of responding to every call to attention—email, phone, text—right away.

Okay, so maybe I am obsessed.  My phone is set to get a variety of alerts from emails, to text to phone and even Facebook.  The truth is that it is a constant distraction that can ruin your focus, disrupt your routine, and cause problems when running a business.  I mean is there really a purse emergency?

What to do instead: Be more stingy with your time and set aside dedicated slots to respond to texts, emails, and phone calls. Unless it’s an emergency, it can wait. Because this one’s deeply ingrained, train yourself little by little to master this one.

4. The habit of doing everything for your kids, family, and more.

No hate mail please…  I am one of those that thinks they can handle everything.  When my daughter was younger, I took care of everything.  Yes, she was spoiled but I always wonder if I hindered her emotional growth.  As a wife, I tend to “take care of everything”.  Do you do everything for others instead of showing them how to do it? Sometimes people need help, but if you condition them to having you do it all the time, they never become self-sufficient. You do them and yourself a disservice.

What to do instead: Before doing the next task for the person you’re helping, ask them if they’d like to learn how to do it. Start teaching and showing more and doing less.

5. The habit of pleasing others at the expense of your own dreams and desires.

For this people pleaser, I always worry about pleasing others from my parents, to my hubby to my daughter.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any decision that I have made but now it is time for my to live my dreams and desires.  How many of us are conditioned to say “yes” to please our family and loved ones. This can be detrimental to your own happiness if you happen to want something else.

What to do instead: Be true to yourself. You can still be kind and gentle toward others, but you get one life, and your dreams and desires are your business and they deserve your best shot.

These are only a few of the great habits that had me pause and think.  What about you, have you found other good habits that get in the way of YOUR happy living?  Share them with us.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!