Thankful Thursday: For Truths Not Shared

Truth is defined as “that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.”.  As my MS progresses, my memory is sketchy.  My truth relies on the memories of others…. I wonder sometimes if their truth would have been my truth in the same situation.  I am sure those around me are tired of hearing “I don’t remember that” or “here is a random memory”.    The bits and pieces of my truth are a struggle but I trust God has a plan and his will prevails.

This blog post was one I found but really seemed to apply to how things are going today….I had the pleurae of meeting Traci Bild at the Mom Grows a Business Conference several years ago.   She talked about the “7 Truths that Women are Afraid to Share“.  Here awesome excerpts, see if any of them apply to you:

1. We’re Guilty, like ALL the time: WOW!  I thought I was the only one who felt like this, so nice to know I am not alone.  The word “sorry” is something I say a lot and most of the time it is for stuff I can’t even do anything about.  I am learning to not say “sorry” except if it is something I have actually done which is definitely hard for me.

2. We WORRY about EVERYTHING: There is never enough time in the day and no matter how hard you try, you will never get everything done. There is simply too much to do.  Is your To Do List way too long with things that could probably be done with the help of others?  Just for Today, I will turn things over to God and let him handle things.

3. We’re Letting our Health Slip:  In the past, I used to do this and yes, I still do sometime.  Having a diagnosis of MS, letting things go is not an option.  There are others in my life (primarily hubby) who tend to put me before their own health concerns.  Do you have a tendency to say “I am fine” even when you are not feeling great?

4. Our Work-Life Balance Looks Like a 2-year-old on a Balance Beam: A nice term, most women simply can’t strike it. So busy living life, you don’t have time to work ON your life and find ways to create balance.  I LOVE this.  My feeble attempt to work on balance was to take the notifications off of my phone so the only time it “rings” is for an actually call OR a text message.  Novel concept huh?

5. Our love lives are on the Back Burner:  GUILTY!  Enough said.

6. We are in Constant Comparison Mode:  From my ability to maintain my goal weight, to the amount of dust bunnies taking up residence behind the couch to my business – I always compare myself to others!  Social media plays a factor in this craziness for me which is why I have left groups, unfollowed people and just try to limit my time on Facebook.  Being in recovery, I am learning more how NOT to do this.  Spend more time living your life than watching others live theirs.  

7. We’re Still Not Happy!: The end result is people are not happy. While women have more opportunity than ever before, we are more unhappy than at any other time in history. You have the power to create happiness but it requires tough decisions, laser focus on your priorities and standing by them at all cost.

So, how many of these truths are you?  Let’s be honest with each other…Just for today, I am going to focus on me, and spend some quality time with hubby and family.

Have a blessed day!

 

Do You Live to Work?

Do you work to live or live to work? Maybe you are wondering what’s the difference.  Believe me, there is a huge difference.  No, this isn’t a plug for joining my direct sales company unless of course you are looking for some extra money or a career change…… Sorry I squirreled.  LOL.

This about this:   Happier people are more productive, thereby getting more work done in less time than others.

We all dream of working less, right?  A chance to maybe retire, focus more on your family and the other things which matter most.  I’m sure there are some who love their job – that’s awesome.  I mean work is wonderful when you are passionate about what you do.  But there is more to life than work.  Sadly, it took a diagnosis of MS and a relapse for me to realize it.  So what would it be like if you didn’t have as much?  What would you do with the extra time?  Who would you spend it with?  This could mean reducing your hours at your current job, stop taking work home nights, weekends and vacation or maybe eventually stop working all together to focus on your family.  Now, I know this is a luxury for many but here are 4 strategies from Valorie Burton which might help:

1. Restructure your day and break bad work habits.

Are you working too many empty hours? Could/should a 50-hour workweek really be a 40-hour week? Many workers work hard, but not smart. I definitely fell into this category when I was working.  If I only knew working less was a matter of breaking some bad work habits. Actually, for me, it was substituting one addiction for another.  If you are the first one in and the last one out every day (yup that was me most days), something might be wrong.  Try to create a personal deadline to force yourself out of the office.   Maybe schedule a 5:30 dinner date or class at the gym so you have to leave the office on time. This one was always tough for me, I was usually late for the appointment after work.  Maybe you need to find ways to eliminate distractions to use your time in the office more efficiently.  My biggest distraction was my need to fix, manage and control situations.

 

2. If you want to work fewer than 40 hours, know your company.

Does your company allow for it?  How will it effect your future goals in the company or in life?  There are still places where working less means no or slow promotions. Are okay with that?  Then there are those businesses who love to spend less money on employees who can give them more bang for their buck. In those companies, scaling back is not necessarily a career killer—as long as you make an impact. If you work fewer hours but give your all and make a contribution to the bottom line, you will always be seen as a valuable player. So part of the strategy for working less is being strategic and performing at your best, whether you’re working 40 hours a week or 20.

 

3. Can you afford to work fewer than 40 hours? If so, make a plan.

Are you prepared for this financially?   Usually the main reasons to work is to earn a living and pay bills.  The doors open wide when you live below your means. If you quit your job or scale back your hours, would you be able to make it? If not, make a plan to get to the point where you don’t have to work so much. Trim your expenses and save, save, save!  I was a paycheck to paycheck person.  I was definitely not ready to work less than 40 hours per week or leave a salaried job.  No plan, just dove in leaving a great job due to health issues “assuming” someone would want to hire me closer to home at less hours.  A story for another time.  LOL.

 

4. If you want to work fewer than 40 hours, ask yourself if it is time to switch careers.

This option would be a long-term solution—a higher-paying job down the road for fewer hours than you work now. Ask yourself, “What opportunity would allow me to earn more for my time?”  Lots of people transition into new lines of work – direct sales.  One good thing of a forced transition is the opportunity to reevaluate your options. A different career path could dramatically increase your income while demanding less of your time. You may need time to prepare or train, but it can be a smart, long-term solution.   This may be awesome for someone thinking of starting a family who doesn’t want to work long hours as a parent.  Think ahead and plan for a transition to working less.

 

I challenge you to dream big. It’s possible to work less in your future and maintain a happy life.  Ask yourself these basic questions:

• What would it look like for you to work less?
• Does this idea appeal to you? Why or why not?
• If you’d like to make it happen, what is your vision for it?

Have a blessed day!

Show, Don’t Just Tell

Thank you Arlene Pellicane for today’s message….

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. ~ Proverbs 14:23, NIV

I’m going to stop wasting time on TV.

I am going to lose twenty pounds.

I would like to help the poor.

I’m going to show my kids I am the boss once and for all.

I’ll apply myself at my work starting tomorrow.

Do any of these sentiments sound familiar? At some point, we get frustrated and fed up and make an impassioned vow to change. Like when my forty-something-year-old face breaks out with acne because I ate way too much chocolate the day before, I promise “No more chocolate until Easter!”   But alas, just a few days later if I’m given chocolate or find a secret stash at home, I’m prone to forget my words and eat dark, delicious chocolate instead.

It can be hard to back up our words with actions! Yet words without supporting actions are weak and powerless.

Today’s key verse reminds us that it’s hard work that results in profit, not just mere words, no matter how poetic or persuasive. “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” Hard work on one side of the equation. Mere talk on the other.

Now for many of us, talking is easier than working! But talking, without working, will make men and women poor, both financially and spiritually. It says it this way in Proverbs 10:4 (NKJV), “He who has a slack hand becomes poor, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.”

Do you know someone who talks big but works little? Now isn’t it funny that we quickly judge others based on their actions (I can’t believe she didn’t show up to volunteer!). But we judge ourselves based on our intentions (Well, I was planning to go but something important came up). With others especially those closest to us, we demand justice. With ourselves, we tend to apply mercy.

So, let’s take a moment today to take inventory of our talk and our walk. Do we follow through with our commitments? Do we work or do we just talk about how much we work? If I profess to be a Christian woman, do I act like one? Does my calendar, social media, bank account, credit card bill, and movie collection confirm or contradict who I say I am?

Now don’t get carried away. This isn’t meant to make you a crazed, work-oriented, legalistic person. Go back to the equation addressed in today’s proverb: hard work on one side, mere talk on the other. This is about ditching grandiose speeches and empty promises and foolish words. It’s about embracing hard work, good habits, faithfulness and diligence. Diligence means “careful and persistent work or effort.”

I read this saying in a Bible commentary about today’s key verse: “The stirring hand gets a penny.” Nowadays, not very many people are willing to stir anything for just a penny. We’re into “get rich quick” schemes and “3 easy steps” to whatever solution we need. But the way you get ahead in life is by being willing to put in a good day’s work – whether that’s at home, in your career, or your personal life.

Hard work may not be popular or easy to market, but it truly is the pathway of growth and success.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

What Matters Right Now?

For some reason this year, the holidays have me STUCK!  We have all been there from time to time, right?  I’m an emotional mess.  There is a multitude of reasons (or maybe excuses) I could give but the truth is I am stuck and struggling to reach goals – personally, professionally and financially.

Whether it’s a relationship problem,  a work challenge, a financial habit (good or bad) or a health dilemma……inevitably on the path to our goals, something gets in our way.  It is weird how this has hit me during the holidays.  As I reflect on the past year which was filled with LOTS of challenges and look forward to the new year, I am trying to put things in perspective.

I’m trying to get unstuck AGAIN!  Yup, unfortunately it happens more than once year for me and I’m sure for others too.  My focus gets pulled in a million directions.  My goals start to look unobtainable.  My emotions get jumbled and I am an emotional mess.  I often want to blame it on the MS but the truth is, I used to get like this BEFORE the diagnosis came along.  Time to take responsibility and face the fact I let everything and everyone influence me which causes me to lose my focus.  I play the comparison game despite my best efforts to squash those inner gremlins.  Comparison will not only steal your JOY but it will also have you wondering about “what really matters most?”.

I know, why am I rambling on about this, right?  The truth is there is ONE powerful question which always helps me.  When I find myself overwhelmed, distracted or bombarded with requests or life’s chaos, I stop and ask myself a simple question.  It usually helps me to regain my focus and use your time better:

What really matters right now?

It sounds so simple, right?  It is not as easy as it seems.  This simple, but perspective-shifting question can help you to get unstuck in the most common challenges of everyday life. There are times when the noise in my head is so great, even this one question is difficult to answer. During those times I stop and repeat the Serenity Prayer.   It has saved me more than once over the years when life became unglued.  It helps to focus my thoughts and THEN I can ask the question of “what really matters right now?”.  Staying focused in the present has actually been a blessing to me reaching my goals.

You may need to set a reminder on your phone – once an hour, twice a day or whatever works for you (or however often you need it).   Get into the habit of pausing and choosing what really matters right now. When you do, you’ll find your days more productive, your stress lowered and your time used well.  And in the end, you will find you have reached the goals you have set for yourself – short and long term.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

 

Is it time for a break?

The summer is half over and what have you done?  Have you been a Vacation Veronica?  Have you enjoyed family and friends but dread what will happen when you open your calendar for the fall?  OR have you been crazy busy and are in desperate need of a break?

Maybe the question should be, whether or not you’ll take time for a break.  Today, we are living life at a faster pace.  Everyone is offering us ways to save time with more tech gadgets.   Instead of freeing up our time, they  have us trying to figure our how much more we can accomplish with the time saved. I sometimes feel like I’m on a treadmill which keeps increasing speed.   Moving faster but not always sure how much I am actually getting done.  Are you wondering if you need a break?  Here are a few signs it’s time to take a break.

1. You are busy but not productive.

You know what I mean, right?.  You’re doing stuff, just not the most important stuff. You’re shifting papers but definitely not moving forward.  If this is you, take a break. Refocus. Restart.

2. You are irritable, even when nothing particularly stressful is happening.

Do you have a sour attitude?  What I mean is, do you feel frustrated, or unsatisfied in you job? Chances are there’s something hiding beneath the surface. Usually anger— even the quiet, passive-aggressive type – is a sign boundaries have been crossed. Are you stuffing your feelings?  Resentment emerges when we don’t speak up, ask for help, or make a necessary change.  This is probably one of my biggest character defects.

3. You just accomplished a big goal.

Did you know our energy is depleted after we accomplish a big goal?  I always thought it was the opposite.  Studies show, we are more effective and able to work towards future goals when we give our minds and bodies a chance to recover.  This allows our energy to be replenished for the next big goal. When you finish a major project – Celebrate. Relax. Rejuvenate. Then move on.

4. Your body hurts.

Your body will give you warning signs. I don’t mean the aches from old age (yup, my big complaint). I mean things like chronic back or neck pain, headaches, and fatigue.  Don’t ignore them.  These are usually the ways your body is trying to tell you something. Listen. If you don’t, there could be long-term consequences ahead.

5. You’re dreaming about work.

This was me when I was working…. I was forever dreaming of projects, and deadlines.  Now working for myself I am able to walk away from things (sometimes).  No matter what, it’s a definite sign some downtime is LONG overdue.

6. You haven’t had a break in a while.

Are you thinking, none of those apply to me?  Guess what?  Even if they don’t and you haven’t had time off in awhile, it is time to take a break!  It could simply be ten minutes every couple of hours, a day of downtime every week (unplug), and a vacation or personal days for fun time every few months will make you far more productive—and far happier—than working nonstop.

Give yourself a break!  Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!