Hope Wissel, Unclutter Your Life

How Do You Measure Your Worth?

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.” ~Robert Hand

Do you remember the first time you were gripped by fear?  Maybe it was wanting the perfect score on a test?  Maybe it was vying for a promotion and thinking you were not good enough?  Regardless of what the scene was, maybe you felt like if you didn’t do XYZ perfectly, then you were worthless.

For years, I strove to be the best. From wanting to be in the popular crowd in school to wanting to achieve the top spot in my chosen field.  Each time I added something to my list of achievements, I felt a surge of worthiness.  I felt good about myself…. the cycle of tying my worth to my achievements had started.

As I look back on my high school years, from my teen pregnancy on, I felt unworthy. Unworthy of love.  Unworthy of the promotion.  Never measuring up despite the positive accomplishments in my life.  Then the years in my addiction caused more feelings of unworthiness.

When I got clean, I was forced to redefine my idea of self-worth. I realized chasing my worth based on one accomplishment after another was making me miserable. The truth was I was caught in the comparison game. I had to learn I am worthy simply because I exist, and nothing more.

Do you want to overcome the need to base your worth on accomplishments? Here are so tips to help you:


1. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself be sure they have nothing to do with an achievement.

Silly?  Hard?  Absolutely! The first time I did this, nothing came to mind except my accomplishments.

Slowly, I embraced the fact I love how giving I am. I’m compassionate and sensitive, which I love about myself.  I’m a good listener. The list keeps flowing as I sit and reflect.

Having a hard time? Ask your loved ones or a few close friends to tell you what they love about you. It is a wonderful way to remind you; you are more than what you do.

2. Redefine your idea of success.

How did you feel the last time you perused social media and saw your friends accomplishing seemingly great things in their life. They looked successful, and I felt unsuccessful as a retired social worker with my own business.

So what does a successful life look like to me?  For me, a successful life is spending the day doing things I love. Having loving relationships. It would be making a positive impact, however small, in the life of others.  It isn’t all about the money.

Guess what I realized? My life is already a success. I spend my days working for myself and making a difference in the lives of others.  I have wonderful loving relationships.

When you are gripped with unworthiness, ask yourself what success would look like to you, and you alone. Are there ways you’re already living a successful life, based on your  own definition? The answer might surprise you.

3. Practice unconditional self-love.

Do you know what dogs (or cats) and babies have in common? They don’t have to do a single thing to deserve our love or be worthy of our love. They don’t try to prove themselves to us. We love them unconditionally simply because they exist.  So what if we applied the same principal to ourselves? What if we didn’t have to do anything or prove anything to be worthy of self- love? What if we deserved unconditional love, just like our pets or our children?

Practice extending unconditional love to yourself by forgiving yourself when you’re not perfect, and recognizing you deserve love no matter what you achieve.


Letting go of perfectionism isn’t easy.  We are a work in progress.  Stifling the need to base our worth on external validation is a continual process. But, with time, we can begin to shed our layers of conditioning that taught us we are not worthy, and see ourselves for the beautifully deserving beings we are.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Business Tips and Tricks

What is Your Addiction?

We are addicted to our thoughts.

We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.

In a recent blog entitled, “9 Addictions that 90% of Us Struggle With”, I was intrigued by how my addictive ways have transformed into other (non-obvious) areas of my life.

Almost every one of us is an addict.  I know, you are probably saying I am not a drug addict or an alcoholic, right?

Here are a few addictions which resonated with me, what about you?


I will admit, this has been me for LONG time.  Just when I think I let it go, it pops up in another way in my life.  It used to be about “stuff”, then it was money and prestige, and when I started my own business, it was about whether or not I was “as good as” someone else in the company.

UGH!  It is so foolish to compare ourselves to everyone else, I mean we don’t know what their story.  When you stop comparing, you free yourself to accomplish what matters most to you. You may have to remind yourself time and again you don’t have to always be and do what everyone else is.

Instead of competing with others, how about competing with a previous version of yourself, so you become better. It’s as simple as that. You are not in competition with anybody except yourself; plan to outdo your past.

2. SECRETLY WISHING FOR EVERYONE’S STAMP OF APPROVAL.727fc1ebe7e510a479d45917c494accf

WOW!  I am a people pleaser – always was and work hard to not be one every day.  The truth is you don’t need anyone’s affection or approval, to be good enough in your own eyes.  When someone rejects or judges you, 99% of the time it isn’t actually about you. I know, hard to believe, right? It’s about their own insecurities, limitations, and needs and not their opinion of you.

Your worth is inherent. You are alive, and therefore you matter. You’re allowed to think things and feel things. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold on to the truth you are worthy. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who insists on making you feel otherwise.


Believe it or not, life gets easier when you are your own best friend. I LOVE this line! There’s absolutely nothing selfish about self-care. If you don’t take good care of yourself then you can’t take good care of anyone else. Because we can’t give what we don’t have. Treat yourself right and you’ll be life-giving to others.


You may not have it all, but you have more than enough so don’t be scared to share.

Generosity isn’t just to help others, it’s also to liberate you. Which is why you cannot live abundantly until you have done something nice for someone who can never repay you. Know this and live graciously. There is no exercise better for your heart and mind than reaching down and lifting people up.


Before you can truly LIVE today, a part of you has to die first. You have to let go and bury the shoulda, coulda, woulda of your life.  You can’t change a past experience, opinions of others, or outcomes from their choices or yours. Go ahead! Let go. Forgive. Be present and free.

If you are struggling with any of these things, you are not alone! Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly and leave a life free of ALL addictions. The bottom line is, it’s never too late to take a step in the right direction. It’s never too late to break free and become the person you are capable of being. Addictions of all kinds CAN be beaten!

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!

Hope Wissel

Thankful Thursday


Today I am introducing my new “GIVE BACK WITH ME” program.  Before you skip over this thinking it is just another sales pitch, please give me just a moment of your time.

I want to share with you a story – for those that follow my blog, this may be a refresher but I think it bears repeating….

Many years ago, when I was struggling in my addiction someone made a difference in my daughter’s life. They didn’t judge her because of the bad decisions that I made as a mom. They didn’t judge her because of where we lived. They didn’t judge her PERIOD. They opened their arms and their heart to her. I decided that when I was able – I would make a difference in the lives of other children. There are many children who are struggling because of no fault of their own.

Yes, I am a recovering addict of 25 years.  Yes, I made some horrible decisions that made an impact on my daughter.  I am blessed that she has turned out to be an AMAZING woman who now makes a difference in the lives of others everyday as a Social Worker.

When I was with the South Jersey AIDS Alliance, I started a children’s program that was once a month. This was a time for kids to be kids.  There was art and music therapy.  There was games.  There was gifts.  All designed to take them away from the stress of their lives – yes, kids have stress too. They worry about their parents.  They keep secrets about bullying.  They often learn early how to survive when things are tough.  And unfortunately, sometimes they are never allowed to be a kid.

As I moved on from SJAA, kids remained my heart.  Wanting to make them feel special.  Wanting them to know that despite the craziness of life, they could still be kids.  Now, I am blessed to have my own business and I have the chance to bless others.

To me, the greatest success I can have in my business is knowing that I did what I could to make a difference in another’s life.  I know that may sound like a lot of “fluff” but that is what gets me up every day and keeps me mouthing.

Every month from nominations received by YOU – my customers, my readers, my friends and my family – I will send a “You are AWESOME” zipper pouch to a child that YOU want to bless.  I will select 1 child per month.  The zipper pouch will contain some goodies as well as a letter as to why they are receiving this gift from YOU!  Nominations can be made monthly through my blog page


Won’t you help to make a difference in the life of a child?  Complete the form below:

OR email me at HopeWs31@gmail.com with your nomination…

In addition, every month a local organization will be the recipient of a monetary donation.  I will donate a portion of my commission every month to that organization from YOU my customers.  I am so excited to be kicking this off in August

Let’s bring hope and a smile to a child, reminding them that they are special and worthy.

Have a ThirtyOne-derful day!